Perturbo
by Cindy Ryan
Summary: Sheppard/Keller. Rework of Trio....what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough? Sheppard and McKay emotional whumpage
1. Chapter 1

This was a challenge to myself to see if I could pair Keller with somebody besides Ronon or McKay and Sheppard without Weir and get it to work. Not sure if I succeeded

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: angst, romance  
Spoilers: Trio, outcast  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

Dr. Jennifer Keller double checked the small piece of paper in her right hand as she walked along an inside corridor of Atlantis. She'd never been to this part of the city before and with the rapidly setting sun she didn't want to get lost.

It was a Thursday, a rare day off for Atlantis's chief medical officer. Even rarer that her boyfriend was off at the same time. Jen smiled at the thought, even though boyfriend sounded so high school. Lover sounded too clandestine.

Jennifer glanced down at the carefully written directions and made a right turn almost missing it. At first she'd been wary about getting involved…..if discovered their would be career ramifications for them both. However, sometimes love is stronger than common sense.

Jen made one more right and than a left and found herself at a set of glass doors with dark blue trim. They were frosted so she couldn't see what was beyond other than the dim outline of a balcony

Jennifer slipped the piece of paper in the pocket of her skirt. She'd wish she'd had something more dressier to wear. She'd found the emerald green skirt and matching short sleeve shirt at a market on a recent off world trip. Jennifer had splurged knowing good fashion didn't come along every day.

Jennifer took a deep breath and pushed the door open. What lay before her stopped the young woman in her tracks.

A wide smile broke across her face as she stepped toward the balcony's single occupant. "Wow, when you meant dinner…..you meant dinner."

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard returned her smile as he stepped around the small table. The table was simply set with a light rose colored table cloth with matching napkins. The dinnerware had a white surface with a similar pink trim. Two tall white candles made up the center piece while a few rose petals decorated either side of the table.

"Well, it's not often we get a night off."Sheppard stated with a soft smile as he closed the space between them. He'd exchanged his uniform for a pair of black dress pants, and a long sleeved dark blue shirt. Closest thing he'd had…..he'd left any suits back on earth not thinking there would be any need for them in the Pegasus galaxy.

"It's beautiful."Jennifer whispered as she looked around. The table was set in the middle of the balcony. Candles were set along the railing. The flames flickering against the setting sun making the setting breathtaking.

From somewhere soft music was playing though Jennifer couldn't pinpoint the source.

"I'm glad you like it."John murmured as he pulled her into an embrace. He'd been afraid he'd over done it. It'd been a long time since he'd set up a candle lit dinner.

Jen met his gaze. "I love it."She said as she kissed him. "Thank you."

"And don't worry."John stated quietly. "Nobody knows about this area. They only drained the water from this area six months ago. We've been a little busy to come back and see what's here."

"So how'd you find this place?"Jen asked.

"On a run…..thought it'd be perfect."

"You're full of surprises, John Sheppard."Jen replied with a grin.

John smiled back. "Didn't think I was a romantic, did you?"

Jen blushed slightly as memories of their nights together flooded in. "Oh, I knew. I just didn't think you knew."

"I'm a little rusty."John replied as he stepped back still holding one of her hands. "Will the lady grant me a dance?"

"I have to warn you."Jen stated as they moved to the right side of the balcony. "I have two left feet. I haven't danced since my cousin Andrea's wedding five years ago."

John chuckled as he drew her close. "You're in good company…..my two left feet will match yours."

Jen melted into his arms as the music switched to a romantic instrumental John laced their hands as he rested his chin on top of her head and closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: angst, romance  
Spoilers: Trio, outcast  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

They danced for two more songs before John led her over to the table. He pulled her chair out and held it while Jennifer sat.down. He then moved to the left side of the balcony and disappeared into a small door Jennifer hadn't noticed earlier.

John returned carrying a large metal tray sporting two steaming plates and two smaller desert plates.

"How?"Jen murmured as she took in the exquisite food. It was like nothing that would ever be served in the mess. Real rotisserie chicken, fresh vegetables, baked potatoes with sour cream and strawberry cheesecake.

"Being a colonel has a few perks."John explained as he set a plate down in front of her and placed one for himself. He opened a bottle of wine and poured them each a glass before sitting down.

John raised his glass and Jennifer did the same. He leaned his toward hers in a toast. "To nights off."

Jennifer smiled. "To nights off."

After taking a sip of wine John set his glass down and met her gaze. "If I didn't say so before….you look beautiful."

Jennifer blushed. "Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

As they ate John studied Jennifer. He wondered how he had been fortunate enough to find a beautiful intelligent woman who'd put up with him. Usually women lasted five or six dates before they realized his demons and baggage were too much to handle. Despite the constant pressures and dangers of Atlantis he and Jennifer had lasted six months. Plus the added element of making sure no one knew about them.

The main course completed Jennifer took a bite of the cheesecake and savored it It was a rare treat for the mess to have cheesecake. Usually by the time she heard it was there, it was gone.

Jennifer replaced her fork and looked out at the dark ocean.

John watched her the light breeze blowing a piece of blonde hair onto her forehead.

"What are you thinking?"Sheppard asked as he reached for her right hand.

Jen squeezed his hand lightly. "Wishing we could stay right here."

"At least the mission tomorrow is short."

"And we'll be together."Jen replied quietly. Lately it'd been weeks before they saw each other for more than a few minutes.

John smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her. As they broke apart he said. "Do you think we'll actually get a nice quiet routine mission?"

Jennifer laughed. "Bound to happen sometime."

John shook his head. "Not likely. You and McKay attract trouble like Hobbits."

Jen punched him playfully. "Hey, your track record is hardly clean. Mr. 'I can't go off world without getting shot or shot at'."

"Goes with the uniform."John retorted with a grin.

They fell into a comfortable silence and John withdrew a small cloth covered box from his pants pocket. He rolled it over in his hand for a moment. He'd spotted it at a market during one of the last trading expeditions. At the time he thought the jewelry was perfect for her. Now he wasn't sure if she'd like it.

Silently John placed the box on the table inches from her right hand. "Jen….I thought of you when I saw this."

Jennifer felt tears spring to her eyes and blinked them back. She could count on one hand how many previous boyfriends had gotten her gifts. Most hadn't lasted that long. She picked up the blue box and lifted the lid.

Jennifer gasped. Nestled inside was a chain…..similar to gold. Attached to it was a simple pendant…..a silver wire circle with a blue-green stone in the center.

"It's stunning……I love it."She met his gaze. "Thank you."

John stood and gently took the box from her. He removed the necklace and walked behind Jennifer. She moved her hair away as John placed it around her neck and closed the clasp.

Jennifer stood and turned to face him as they moved away from the chair. She saw the love in his eyes and wondered how she had gotten so lucky.

"Consider it an anniversary present."John whispered as he drew her into an embrace

"I love you."Jennifer said softly as she rested her head on his chest.

John's heart swelled and he tightened his arms around her. "I love you too."

After a moment Jennifer spoke. "We should go…..early call tomorrow."

"I know."

Neither of them moved.

Jennifer smiled as the music started and they began to dance once more.

Thirty minutes later Jennifer reluctantly pulled herself away. She kissed John before moving back toward the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: angst, romance  
Spoilers: Trio, outcast  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

John grabbed Jen's arm turning her back toward him. "Jen,I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"If things go south tomorrow I want you to head toward the gate….no matter what."

Jennifer reached up and gently touched his face. "I'm a big girl, John. I'm not the jinx people think I am."

John shook his head. "It's not that…..I know you can handle yourself. I just need to know that….."

"You worry too much."Jennifer replied as she leaned in and kissed him quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Jennifer squeezed his hand before she opened the door and disappeared down the dark corridor.

John leaned against the doorjamb for a moment watching until she was out of sight. Wishing things could be different.

If they were back on Earth with normal military careers they could live together. She wouldn't be a member of his team.  
They'd be a normal happy couple.  
Unfortunately normalcy didn't exist on Atlantis

Fate and adventure seemed to interfere every time it tried.

John stepped farther into the hall and let the door swing shut behind him. He'd clean things up in the morning.  
Starting down the corridor John began the long walk back to his quarters.

* * *

Early the next afternoon Jennifer stood with Rodney in the gate room waiting for Sam to join them. They'd already been off world once and found the native people uncooperative. John had suggested that Sam might have better influence to convince them of the danger of the quakes.

Jen straightened the collar of her uniform shirt her finger lightly tracing the chain that rested around her neck. It'd been such a wonderful night and getting back to reality this morning had been tough.  
Really tough.

"Are we ready?"Sam asked as she approached the duo.

McKay nodded. "Yep and the faster we go the faster we get back."

"What's the matter, Rodney?"Jen asked with a grin. "Got a hot date?"

McKay glowered at her as the trio walked toward the now open event horizon."I just don't like being in earthquake central any longer than we have too."

Sam shook her head with a smile as she shifted the weight of her pack. She glanced at the others once more before she led the way through the gate.

* * *

John leaned against the railing of the control room watching the departure. With Sam going John knew the mission was in good hands.

After a moment Sheppard looked over at Lorne who had just walked into the control room. Lorne had just finished a hand-to-hand combat refresher session with SGA-8.

Evan walked over to his C.O.

"Sam's gone off-world. Keep me posted if anything interesting comes up."

"Will do."Lorne replied with a smile.

"I have a pile of paperwork I've been neglecting."

"Have fun."

Sheppard nodded and pushed open the door to Sam's office. Hopefully the paperwork would keep him distracted.

As John sat down behind the desk he knew that he wouldn't relax until all three of them were back through the gate.

* * *

Six hours later Rodney McKay watched in horror as the rope he was straining so hard to keep steady went slack in his hands.

Keller's screams echoed sharply through the mineshaft as she fell.

"Jennifer!"Sam yelled as she peered over the edge of the platform they were trapped on.

"No."Rodney whispered as he stumbled forward.

Sam gingerly raised herself up so she was half kneeling on her good leg. Out of the corner of her eye Sam saw Rodney racing toward the edge. Sam was just in time to grab him by his arm and keep him from sliding off.

"Jennifer!"Mckay called as he stared down at the unforgiving darkness.

/Please God, no./McKay prayed silently./Not another loss for this team. /

It was then that Sam spied the end of the rope that was still dangling…..it was frayed and broken.

Rodney rocked back on his heels. He stared down at the blood on his torn and shredded palms.

Sam swallowed hard and turned away from the edge. She gingerly lowered herself into a sitting position. Pain shot through every nerve ending and muscle she had, but it was nothing she hadn't endured before. She'd endure it now…..it was the only way she and Rodney were getting home.  
They couldn't sit and wait for a rescue…..not with the quakes coming faster and more violent.

Sam turned to McKay and saw the shock setting in. She knew he was exhausted and in as much pain as she was. Somehow Sam had to keep him focused.

"Rodney."Sam called gently as she gripped his arms turning him to face her.

"I-I thought I had it."Mckay whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry, Sam….I thought…..I…."

"Rodney, I need you to look at me."Sam ordered quietly and waited until the scientist met her gaze. "The rope broke……this wasn't your fault."

"She trusted me."Rodney murmured as he looked past Sam to the dark shaft.

Sam felt her strength slipping. "Rodney, please. For once, listen to me. We need to come up with a way out before the next tremor hits."

McKay shook his head as if trying to clear it. Jennifer was gone….there was nothing he could do to help her……but Sam he could help. He wasn't going to fail another friend.

"Okay."Rodney acknowledged as he slowly stood very aware of every creak and groan the platform made with his movement. "Can you hang onto my back?"

Sam nodded tightly. "Yeah……what's your genius plan to save our necks?"

Rodney moved quickly hoping against hope that what he needed was still there. Finally he found it….buried under a lot of dirt.

Rodney returned to Sam clutching his prize tightly. Sam's eyes widened when she saw what he was holding.

The grappling hook.

"There's still enough rope left."McKay explained as he held up the hook that was still in good shape. "I can latch the hook onto that opening Jennifer saw before………"

"Good work, Rodney."Sam complimented though she knew the odds of the rope supporting their combined weight when it hadn't held Keller's were slim.

McKay sat down next to her. "We're used to living on a wing and a prayer, right?"

"Wouldn't know any other way."Sam replied with a grim smile.

* * *

John returned to Sam's office from the Mess. He sat a light dinner of a ham sandwich, chips and a cola onto the left corner of the desk. He unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite before turning back to the computer. John was almost done.  
He'd always hated paperwork…..even with it being mostly on computer now, it was still paperwork.

John took a sip of cola glancing up at a knock on the door. "Yeah?"

Lorne stepped into the room and closed the door. "Colonel Carter's team missed their check in."

"Odds of all three of them having radio problems?"John asked as he stood. Sam never missed a check in.

Lorne shook his head.

"I know."Sheppard replied with a sigh as he walked around the desk and moved toward the door. "Get SGA-12 and Ronon and I want a jumper prepped and ready in twenty."

Lorne nodded and the two men quickly left.

* * *

Pain.

That was all that registered to Jennifer Keller as she slowly regained consciousness. The pain was so intense that Jennifer couldn't force her eyes open.

It was taking all her effort just to keep breathing.

The comforting blackness overtook Jennifer and she once again slipped into unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: angst, romance  
Spoilers: Trio, outcast  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

Rodney steadied his feet as best he could on the slanting platform. He had maybe two shots at this before the next quake hit. His bloodied palms were making it difficult to get a good grip.

"Here goes nothing."Rodney muttered as he swung the rope several times to pick up speed. He threw the hook.

It banged against the top of the small opening and bounced off. Rodney had just enough time to grab his end of the rope before they lost the hook completely.  
Rodney cursed and began to reel the hook back.

"Try again, Rodney."Sam urged. "I know you're a better shot than that. You hit Sheppard square on the other morning from across the Mess."

"Paper airplanes and heavy metal hooks are different."Rodney muttered

"Same concept."Sam countered quietly. "Pick your target, concentrate, and let it go."

Rodney nodded, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Opening his eyes Rodney swung the rope once more, picked a different target and threw the hook.

The hook landed in the small opening, rattled down the slope a few feet before it caught on the edge and held.

Sam gently rose to her feet and placed most of her weight on her good leg. She clasped Mckay on the right shoulder.

"Good job, my friend."

McKay did a double take. "First time you've ever said that."

"What?"

"Called me friend."

Sam shook her head with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Well considering in the beginning I considered you a pompous ass."

"Only in the beginning?"

"Let's just get out of here, shall we?"Sam replied as she squeezed his arm.

Rodney nodded and tugged hard at the rope testing its hold. "We're good."

Sam laced her arms around McKay's neck and used what little strength she had left to wrap her legs around his waist.

"Go ahead, Tarzan."Sam ordered quietly just as they heard another familiar rumble.

Rodney ignored the pain in his hands and tightened his hold on the rope. He squeezed his eyes shut and launched them off the platform.

* * *

The atmosphere in the puddle jumper was quiet and tense as John's fingers flew over the controls. The jumper hovered above the gate room floor as the gate chevron's locked one at a time.  
Finally the event horizon bloomed and Sheppard punched the jumper's thrusters.

As the familiar feeling of the wormhole over took him John tried to quelsh the ever growing feeling of dread. He hoped for once his instincts were wrong and he'd be holding Jen in his arms later that night, watching her sleep.

Just once he wanted to be wrong.  
That they'd find the three of them sitting in the village eating dinner unaware of their radio malfunction.  
However, Sheppard knew that life in the Pegasus galaxy didn't work that way.

* * *

Rodney thought he'd felt exhaustion before, but it was nothing compared to what he felt now. He pulled them the rest of the way up onto solid ground.  
Solid being a relative term, of course.

Rodney groaned as he gripped the rope once more and pulled them a little farther up the slope. He collapsed fully on his stomach his body in a spread eagle position. He felt Sam's breath on his neck.

Everything hurt.  
Mind, body and soul.

"Rodney."Sam called her voice muffled by his left shoulder. "We have to keep moving."

"Can't."

Sam forced her body to roll off of McKay's. That small movement almost too much. She hated the fact that Rodney would have to carry her the rest of the way. She was just too weak to help them right now.

"We have to get to the surface."Sam said as she struggled into a sitting position.

"I can't, Sam."Rodney whispered as he closed his eyes. "I just can't. I don't have anything left."

"That doesn't sound like the McKay I know."

Rodney's hands curled around the dirt. "I'm tired, Sam. So tired…..of everything."

"I know, Rodney."Sam whispered. She certainly understood the battle fatigue. After everything with the Ori, Replicators, and the Goa'uld. "But we've both been through too much to die in a hole in the ground. Jennifer would be the first to tell you to get your ass up."

McKay could smell the fresh air…..they were so close. Some how he had to make his body move.  
Some how.

A rumble from below was all the motivation Rodney needed. A second push of adrenaline kicked in and Rodney rose to a crouch. He gathered Sam in his arms just as small rocks began to fall around them.

Rodney rose to half height and scrambled up the small tunnel.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the reviews

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: angst, romance  
Spoilers: Trio, outcast  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?  
Notes: Mild swearing in this chapter

"Oh my God."

Sheppard jerked his gaze away from the jumper's controls at Lorne's quiet exclamation.

"Shit."John swore as he saw McKay walking slowly toward the gate Sam's still form clutched in his arms. Both were covered head to toe in dirt.

Sheppard could tell from McKay's stance that he didn't know the jumper was there.

"Where's Doc?"Ronon asked quietly as he hovered behind Lorne's co-pilot seat.

/Damn, he had to say it./John thought as he squeezed his eyes shut. Ronon's quiet question was doing a number on Sheppard's carefully controlled emotions. If John allowed himself to think that there was only two walking toward them he'd lose it.  
Right now he couldn't afford to lose it.

"We'll find out."John promised tightly as he focused his attention on landing the jumper.

Ronon was already at the back hatch before the craft had touched down.He opened it and reached McKay in five long strides. The Satedan took the scientist's burden while two members of SGA-12 supported McKay on either side helping him to the jumper.

"Rodney, what happened?"Sheppard demanded as he started to rise to his feet.

Sheppard's voice dragged Rodney out of the subconscious state he'd fallen into.  
The Jumper was too heavy.  
They couldn't stay here.

"Ground's not stable…..we were trapped in a mine shaft. You have to get us airborne, now!"

John quickly returned to the pilot's seat and hit several keys. Instantly the jumper rose and hovered at a safe distance from the ground. Sheppard moved back to Rodney's side where a member of SGA-12 was applying gauze to the scientist's hands.

John glanced over at the opposite bench at Sam's still form, her eyes were closed.

Sheppard knelt next to McKay not wanting to ask the next question but desperately needing to know the answer.

"Rodney, where's Jennifer?"John asked his voice hoarse and laced with emotion.

McKay met his friend's gaze and closed his eyes against the intensity. The rumor mill had been wild the last few months on whether Sheppard and Keller were romantically involved or not. Nobody could confirm it.  
Whenever there was a free moment for the team you could usually find one with the other.  
McKay had been with Sheppard when he had purchased a necklace at an off-world market. When he had seen the same necklace around Jennifer's neck today it had confirmed everyone's suspicions.

Rodney swallowed hard not being able to answer his friend's question.  
He couldn't break his friend's heart.  
Especially when he was partly to blame, no matter what Sam said.

"She didn't make it, John."Sam's quiet voice startled everyone as all eyes turned toward her. "Jennifer fell farther down the shaft during one of the tremors. There was nothing we could do."

John ducked his head briefly his heart refusing to believe what Sam was saying. "There's no chance?"

Sam shook her head sadly.

Sheppard held her gaze for a moment before he slowly stood. He retreated to the pilot's chair.

John would do his duty and get them home.  
That was the only thing holding him together now…..duty.

* * *

Around five the next morning Rodney woke up with a start from a nightmare he couldn't remember.

He closed his eyes and forced his body to relax as he rested his head against the pillow. His breathing was coming in sharp gasps and his clothes were damp with sweat.

/Damn./McKay swore as he wiped sweat from his forehead./Been awhile since I've had one of those./

The nightmares had come in spurts since they had arrived in Atlantis. Rodney knew they were an offshoot of PTSD. They usually came after a particularly intense mission or the loss of a friend.

After they had lost Elizabeth they'd lasted for nearly a month.

Several minutes passed and Rodney's breathing returned to normal. He opened his eyes and reached gingerly for the pitcher of water and a glass sitting on the small table next to the bed.

However Rodney found he could barely reach past the bedrail without his muscles screaming in pain.  
He rested his arms back by his sides for a moment determined to gather his strength and try again.

"Hey, you need help?"Sheppard asked quietly from the doorway as he moved quickly toward Rodney's bed.

Unable to sleep John had stopped by the infirmary to check on Rodney and Sam. He'd been in time to see McKay's futile quest for the pitcher of water.

"Yeah, thanks."Rodney replied as he watched Sheppard through suddenly drowsy eyes. "How come you're up so early?"

Sheppard poured a glass of ice water and handed it to the scientist before sitting down in a chair. "Couldn't sleep."

"Join the club."Rodney replied after taking several sips of water. He looked over at the bed next to him and Sam's sleeping form. "They gave Sam some good drugs…..her leg was really bothering her."

John looked down at his hands. "Rodney, are you up to a few questions?"

A shadow of pain flickered across McKay's face. "Are you asking as a Colonel or as her boyfriend?"

Sheppard's head snapped up in surprise.

A hollow chuckle escaped from Rodney at his friend's reaction. "You know the rumor mill around here. Everybody suspected…..nobody could confirm it. That was until yesterday when I saw the necklace."

Sheppard sat back in the chair with a sigh. "I knew I shouldn't have bought it, but it just seemed so perfect for her."

"How long?"Rodney asked though he knew it was none of his business.

John stood and moved toward a wall behind the chair and leaned against it."About six months. After she and Teyla went to New Athos. Late that night we ran into each other in the Mess. She couldn't sleep. We ended up sharing a meal of hot chocolate and some fruit pastries. Spent almost two hours talking. After that we dated on and off…..didn't really become serious until after we lost Elizabeth. I know it sounds cliché but we both realized how short and precious life was….not that we didn't know it before….especially being out here. But after Elizabeth we decided to take a chance and deal with the consequences of ignoring military regs later."

"I've gone over it a thousand times."Rodney stated quietly. "It just happened so fast. I was using a grappling hook to try to get us out. We were on a platform……Jennifer was holding the other end of the rope feeding it to me……the tremor hit…..hard….the platform buckled and tilted…..Sam slid into a pile of crates…..Jennifer didn't have a chance to catch herself. She slid all the way off but she was able to hold onto the rope."

Rodney met Sheppard's grief stricken gaze. "She saved our lives, John. Before the rope snapped she spotted daylight on the other side. Turned out to be our way out. She was trying to swing over to it when the rope gave. I-I did everything I could to hold it."

John blinked back tears and walked back over to McKay. He clamped a hand down on the scientist's left shoulder. "I know you did, Rodney. I know you did. Not your fault."

Having the absolution from Sheppard should've eased Rodney's conscience but it didn't. He eased himself back onto the pillows. "Feels like it."

Sheppard headed toward the door. "I know, but it's not. Get some rest."

"I'm sorry, John."

Sheppard nodded and quietly left the infirmary

* * *

Intense pain jolted Jennifer back to consciousness once more. This time she was able to open her eyes.

Though the small movement took three times as long as it should have. She blinked trying to get moisture to them…..they felt gritty and grimy from all the dirt and dust of the shaft.

Jennifer was lying on her stomach. Her left cheek was being stabbed by a sharp rock her head was resting on.

She could see nothing.  
Nothing but darkness.

Jennifer moved her right hand and gasped when it plunged downward. Rationally she knew she couldn't have fallen all the way to the bottom of the shaft and still be alive. So something must have broken her fall.

Jennifer gingerly felt behind her with her left arm and struck the solidness of the shaft wall. Her booted feet were dangling off what Jennifer could only assume was a very narrow ledge.

Jennifer's medical training kicked in and she began to take stock of her injuries

Several bruised or broken ribs.  
Broken collar bone.  
Dislocated right shoulder.  
Many cuts and scrapes.

It took her almost fifteen minutes but Jennifer managed to push herself into a sitting position.

She wondered how much time had passed since she had fallen.

Jennifer knew realistically that everyone had to believe she was dead. She knew a rescue would've been here by now.  
John would've been here by now if they had thought there was any hope she had survived.

That left only one option.

Jennifer had to some how find a way out on her own.  
If there even was one.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews. Keeps me writing. :)

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: angst, romance  
Spoilers: Trio, outcast  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?  
Notes: Sexual references in this chapter.

As the sun began to rise over Atlantis John found himself on the same balcony he and Jen had dinner.

Had it really been less than forty-eight hours since they'd danced?  
He could still feel her in his arms.  
Could still smell her perfume.  
Could still hear her laughter.

"God, Jen."Sheppard whispered to the wind as he leaned heavily against the railing the grief starting to take its toll.

John had just gotten used to having someone in his life again.  
He ducked his head allowing some of the tears to flow.  
Allowing them to mingle with the ocean mist.

He'd barely recovered from losing Elizabeth when Sam told him his father had died.

John was tired of burying people he loved.  
Damn tired.

Now fate wanted him to add Jen to that list?  
How was he supposed to do that and move on?

Unbidden a memory wormed its way into his thoughts. John smiled through the tears remembering their first night together, five months ago.

They hadn't seen each other much until the weekly movie night. It'd just been so busy barely time to eat or sleep. Back to back off-world missions.

As they left, laughing, joking and swapping movie trivia John hadn't wanted to return to his empty quarters.

He'd pulled Jen into an unused corridor, kissing her for several minutes.

When they'd finally broken apart he'd invited her back.

Once in his quarter's they'd spent the first twenty minutes exploring and tasting each other.

John rubbed a hand over his face wiping the wetness away.

The sex had been good.  
Really good.  
Being a doctor she'd even taught him a thing or two about pressure points

What had surprised John then, and what he missed now was how at home and content he'd felt when they'd become one.  
He'd felt loved, and at peace.

The crackle of John's earpiece intruded and he pushed himself away from the railing.

"Lorne to Sheppard."

"Go ahead."

"SGA-7 has returned and is awaiting a debrief."

John cursed silently, he'd forgotten. He needed to find a way to give Lorne a raise.

"Thank you, Major. I'm on my way."

* * *

Jennifer choked back a panicked sob. Freaking out and panicking would not help at all.

Yes, she was stuck in an abandoned mineshaft.  
No food.  
No water.  
No light.  
No chance of rescue.

Even with her short time on Atlantis Jennifer knew from other teams experiences that even when all hope seemed lost you couldn't give up.

There was always a way.

Jennifer just had to figure it out.

More than anything she wanted to get back home.  
Back to John.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews. Keeps me writing. :)

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: angst, romance  
Spoilers: Trio, outcast  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

Rodney awoke to find morning sunlight streaming in from the hallway beyond. He blinked and once his eyes finally focused McKay was startled to see an empty bed beside him.

"Wonder where she is."McKay muttered worriedly. He knew with Sam's injuries she wouldn't have been released.

"Surgery."

Rodney jumped at the familiar voice and whirled to his left. A little too fast for his over-extended muscles and bruised ribs. Rodney's breath hitched as pain sliced through his torso.

Rodney slowly lowered himself back down onto the bed and glared at Ronon who was sitting in the chair Sheppard had been earlier.

"You okay?"

"I am going to put a bell around your neck."Rodney grumbled but nodded at Dex's question. "How long have you been here and what surgery?"

"Hour. She's bleeding inside."

Rodney blanched and swallowed hard. Exactly what Jennifer had been worried about.  
Had he done more damage by carrying Sam? Should he have just went to a safe distance and waited for a rescue?

"How long has she been in surgery?"Rodney asked quietly.

"Thirty minutes."

Rodney had never been one to believe in curses. Now though he was starting to wonder if someone had placed one on the Atlantis expedition.

So many losses……Ford,Carson, Elizabeth, Jennifer.  
Rodney had lost count of how many times Sheppard had cheated death and lived to tell about it.

"She'll be fine."Rodney stated firmly as he pulled the blanket up around his chest.

"Yeah."Ronon acknowledged as he leaned back in the chiar.

Rodney could tell the Satedan wasn't any more convinced than he was.

/Sam would pull through it/ Rodney reasoned silently./She just had to. There had to be a way to turn the tide. Fate owed them one./

* * *

Jennifer hadn't realized she'd drifted off to sleep when the wall behind her began to vibrate. A low rumble from below made Jennifer's eyes snap open.

Tremor.

Jennifer drew herself as small as possible on the tiny ledge ignoring the pain from her ribs. She prayed the ledge would hold.

As Jennifer sat, waiting for the quake to subside she couldn't help but wonder about Rodney and Sam.  
Did they survive?  
Did they make it back home?

Just as the tremor subsided Jennifer heard a sound she really didn't want to hear.  
An earsplitting crack.

Jennifer froze, holding her breath as she listened. With the echoes in the shaft she couldn't tell if it was from above or below.

Jennifer screamed as medium sized rocks began to fall She quickly covered her head and flattened herself against the wall.

She heard one smash into the ledge inches to her right and crash through.

Finally all was quiet again and Jennifer lowered her arms. It was then that she noticed the darkness around her wasn't as black.  
It was now more the color of a storm cloud.

That meant light.

Excitedly Jennifer craned her head trying to look for the source.

If she had light, she'd know what she had to work with to come up with a plan.

Jennifer gingerly stood on the tiny ledge careful to avoid the spot that had broken. She trained her gaze on the wall behind her going inch by inch.

After ten minutes Jennifer spotted where the light was coming from. Roughly fifty feet above her the wall had shattered from the quake creating a long crack.  
The crack itself was only about two inches wide but it was enough.

Enough for her to see.  
Enough for her to call for help.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for the delay, been out of town for a few days. Thanks for the reviews.

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: angst, romance  
Spoilers: Trio, outcast  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

John Sheppard rested his elbows against the surface of Sam's desk. He rubbed his eyes tiredly with the back of his right hand.  
Sam was still in surgery.  
They had discovered some internal bleeding during the night.  
Consequently most command and administrative dealings and decisions had fallen on John's shoulders.  
Including one he couldn't bring himself to do.

The piece of stationary lay on the desk in front of him. John hadn't been able to type this one. Seemed far too cold and impersonal.  
He'd sent so many letters home to Marine's families over the years.  
It never got any easier.

Now John had to send one home to Jennifer's father. More than anything John had wanted to do something other than a letter. Placing a phone call.to Earth wasn't possible yet. Telling her father in person was an option under other circumstances. But with Sam incapacitated for at least two weeks John couldn't afford to be away from Atlantis.

Sheppard sighed and once again picked up his pen. With smooth even strokes John began to tell Jennifer's father, how brave his daughter had been.

* * *

Rodney pushed his metal tray away that contained his lunch. He didn't know why they'd bothered giving it to him. Rodney had no appetite whatsoever.

"Eat."

McKay sighed and glanced over at Ronon still perched in the chair by his bed. He'd almost forgotten the Satedan was there.

"I know you have something better to do than baby-sit me."

"Nope."Dex replied as he settled back in the chair stretching his long legs out in front of him. "Eat."

"I'm immune to your intimidation, you know."

"McKay."

"Not hungry."Rodney replied quietly as he pushed the bedside table away and turned gingerly on his side away from Ronon.

As his gaze fell on Sam's empty bed Rodney sent off a silent prayer. A nurse had come in about twenty minutes ago and said Sam had made it through surgery and was in recovery. She was heavily sedated and would be in the recovery room for several hours.

Rodney closed his eyes. He knew if anyone could make a full recovery it was Sam.  
But then she'd been through a lot.  
They all had.

* * *

Her throat raw from shouting Jennifer sat carefully down on the ledge. She'd nearly screamed herself hoarse for over two hours and had gotten no response.  
Jennifer was beginning to wonder if anyone ventured out this way.

With a sigh, Jennifer looked down at the abyss below. Her thoughts turned to the Genii. She wondered what they had been mining and if somehow their mining had increased the quakes.

It'd be just like the Genii to take what they wanted from a planet and leave without thinking of the consequences to the native people.

Jennifer leaned back against the wall. The Genii, from what she'd read and heard, were all about self-preservation.

They had built this mine.  
They had to have built a failsafe.  
An escape route in case of a cave in.  
There had to be something here.  
There just had to be.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the delays but this is not the only fic I'm working on and I  
have a forty hour a week job. Thank you to those being patient.

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Work in Progress, angst, romance  
Notes and summary: See part one.

John had just finished putting the letter in an envelope when there was a knock on the door.

"Come."Sheppard called and Teyla quietly stepped into the room.

"Thought you would like to know……Colonel Carter is out of surgery. Prognosis is good."

John placed the sealed envelope on the desk and stood. "At least that's one piece of good news. Thanks Teyla."

Teyla hesitated not wanting to leave just yet but not sure how to approach the subject. She knew John was hurting. The grief was radiating from him like a wave.  
Teyla had picked up on the signals of John and Jennifer's relationship several months ago. She'd been happy for her friends. Both of them worked too hard.  
John had been through too much and had deserved some happiness.  
Now that happiness was dashed.

John turned away from the window. "Do you need something else, Teyla?"

Teyla approached the desk and noted that the envelope was addressed to Jennifer's father. She walked around and placed a gentle hand on John's right arm. As she did Teyla saw the protective mask drop briefly and she saw the turmoil of emotions in John's eyes.

"It is alright to miss her."

John sat down on the edge of the desk. "We've lost a lot of friends recently."

"She was more than that to you."

John looked at his friend in surprise. "Did she tell you?"

Teyla smiled sadly."No, but I could see the way you looked at each other when you thought no one saw."

John moved past her toward the window. "People thought Jen was the jinx. I think it's me, Teyla. I've lost so many over the last year and a half."

Teyla walked toward her friend and drew John into a quick embrace. "You may think that, John Sheppard, but it is not true. You are a good man, Jennifer would be the first to tell you that."

John tried to smile, but failed.

Teyla stepped back and squeezed his right hand. "You know where to find me."

John nodded tightly. "Thanks."

Teyla held his gaze for a moment than turned and left.

* * *

After four hours of badgering the interim CMO Rodney McKay finally got his wish.

Doctor Sokun cleared him to recover in his own quarters.  
In his own bed.  
Without a babysitter.

Rodney snatched his medications and recovery instructions from Sokun and retreated out of the infirmary. Earlier Rodney had talked Zelenka into bringing him an old pair of SGC sweatpants and matching dark blue shirt.  
Hardly a fashion statement but at the moment Rodney didn't care.

Rodney shuffled slowly down the corridor toward his quarters. He glanced out at the city as he passed a window. Usually the city view perked him out of a funk.  
Rodney shook his head sadly. He knew this wasn't a funk.  
He was weary, down to his very core.

They kept saving the universe….both his and Pegasus and got kicked in the teeth in return.

Rodney turned a corner and covered the last few familiar feet to his quarters. The loss of lives the Atlantis expedition had suffered didn't seem to balance all the good they'd done.

Rodney waved his hand over the access panel and stepped gratefully inside once the door swooshed open.  
Rodney pulled a spare blanket out of a storage bin and wrapped it tightly around himself. He sat down on his bed and scooted painfully back.

When they'd first arrived at Atlantis this room had never felt alien to him. It'd never felt homey since Rodney had spent every waking hour in his lab. Now though the city and the galaxy his friends had given their lives for was beginning to feel very cold and alien to him.

Rodney rested his head back against the pillow and closed his eyes. Atlantis and his colleagues had been the closest thing to home and family Rodney had in years. It'd even rekindled his relationship with his sister.  
Rodney didn't want to leave them and the city that had become his home.  
But he was so tired of burying friends.

Rodney opened his eyes and reached for a pad of paper and pen resting on a small table nearby. He picked up the pen and began to write. Maybe it was time to fight the good fight doing what he did best.  
Science.

Rodney activated his ear piece. "McKay to Sheppard."

"Thought you were resting."

"When did you become my mother?"Rodney retorted. "Do you have a few minutes? Something important I need to discuss."

"I'll be at your quarters in ten."


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Perturbo (latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Work in Progress, angst, romance  
Notes and summary: See part one.

Jennifer sat as still as possible on her small ledge. She fought to catch her breath. Ad reline was pumping through her system. There had been six quakes in the last two hours. Four had been strong, two had been moderate. All had rained debris down on her.  
Jennifer rested her head on her knees she wasn't sure how much more the ledge could take.

"Oh no."Jennifer whispered as a familiar sound reached her ears.

Ignoring her injuries Jennifer drew herself into a ball and brought her arms up to shield her head. The ledge shook violently as the tremor roared through the shaft.  
Long after the violent quake was over Jennifer remained huddled.

Jennifer knew she needed to move but had yet to locate any kind of an exit. She struggled to swallow. The dust filled air was making it difficult to breathe as well.  
As a doctor Jennifer knew her time was rapidly running out. She had maybe a day of strength left if she didn't get water.

With renewed determination Jennifer raised her head and looked around. As she did daylight from far above bounced off something metal near the wall to her right.

Curiously Jennifer scooted as far to the end of the ledge as she dared. A piece under her left hand crumbled under her weight and dropped away.

Jennifer ignored the fragile edge and peered into the murky darkness. The daylight was doing it's best to penetrate the blackness but it was just enough to make out shapes and outlines.  
And metal.

Jennifer blinked not believing what she was seeing. Had her bad luck on off world missions finally started to change?  
Jennifer blinked again and smiled.

The last quake had broke away part of the wall revealing the Geni's emergency way out.

Attached to the rock surface was an old metal ladder.

From where she was Jennifer couldn't tell if all its rungs were intact or if the support poles were even stable against the wall.

Still it was the only way out she had.

That was of course if the ladder led anywhere or if the quake had blocked it off.

Now Jennifer had to figure out how to cross the fifty foot gap. The shaft rumbled once more and Jennifer scooted back. As she did Jennifer looked down. She was startled to find another ledge.

This one was wider and longer but much thinner. It appeared to be about ten to twenty feet below and to the right. To Jennifer it didn't look like it would hold her weight, but she also knew she couldn't stay where she was.

Staying was death.  
Moving was hope.

Just as the next tremor hit Jennifer swung herself out from the ledge and dropped to the one below.

* * *

"No."John replied sharply not believing what he was hearing. "Request denied."

Rodney sighed as he shuffled his form back against the stack of pillows. "It wasn't a request. You know I can go above you to the I.O.A. and get it approved."

"Why?"Sheppard asked quietly though he knew the answer. He was feeling the same burden of dissolution.

McKay met his friend's gaze. "You of all people need to ask that? I'm a liability to the team….it's time for me to move on."

John shook his head fiercely. "You saved Sam's life and mine countless times."

Rodney turned and looked out the window. "There are many bright and gifted scientists back on Earth that would jump at the chance to replace me."

"I thought you said once that you were irreplaceable."John stated trying and failing to lighten the mood.

"I was wrong."

John moved to stand at the foot of the bed leaning his arms on the tile railing.

"Rodney,"John began quietly. "Jen's death wasn't your fault."

"That's not it……well it is….but…."

"What is it then?"

Rodney turned to face Sheppard. "Look at us, John. You and I are the only ones left of our original group. Elizabeth's gone, Carson, Ford….."

John closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He understood all too well where McKay was coming from. If he allowed himself to think about it, to dwell on it, he'd turn and run. But John knew he couldn't and he couldn't allow Rodney to.

"Rodney, we need you here. Hell, I need you. Who else is going to figure us out of a jam?"

"There's nobody here but ghosts."Rodney whispered. "Next time the Daedalus arrives I'll have the I.O.A.'s approval for a transfer."


	11. Chapter 11

Short, but new.

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Notes and Summary: See part one

Jennifer perched on the far end of the thin ledge studying her destination. The faint daylight from above was fading fast. If she had a shot at getting to the ladder she had to do it while she could still see.

'When I get back,' Jen thought.' I'm putting in for a vacation. Nice quiet Florida beach….maybe Spain……or the French Rivera.'

Jennifer peered down once again and spied something she hadn't noticed before. Something she hoped would get her across the remaining forty feet to the ladder. Along the wall to her right and about five feet down was a thin ribbon of metal. Perhaps at one time the ribbon had been part of a support for a walkway to the ladder.

As she inched closer Jennifer saw that the metal ribbons were all along the wall spread at five feet intervals. She guessed that at one time they'd been part of a system of walkways for the miners to move throughout the shaft.

Jennifer stared at the all too small spanse of metal. If she was lucky she'd be able to get the toe of her shoe on it.

But she didn't have a choice.  
Jennifer had to move before another tremor struck.

Gathering as much courage as she could muster Jennifer began to painfully ease herself off the ledge and onto the metal ribbon.

When she first put all her weight down on the metal she lost her precarious foothold and nearly slipped. Jennifer flailed wildly struggling to keep her balance. Her hands scraped along the wall finally finding enough dirt to get a handhold. Jennifer pulled herself back into a standing position fighting to catch her breath.

'Well I can stand on it, that's something.'Jennifer reasoned as she slowly and carefully began to inch herself along the wall.

* * *

"I can arrange for you to talk to somebody."Sheppard suggested quietly wishing Weir was here. She'd know a way to get Rodney to stay.  
Right now he was failing miserably.

Rodney's head snapped forward his eyes narrowed. "I don't need a shirnk."

"We all need to talk to somebody sometime."John reasoned. "Take a week or two off, talk to them. It'll help, Rodney."

Rodney's resolve wavered. He did owe it to Elizabeth to see this expedition through to the end.  
He just didn't know if he had it in him.

John's hope soared as he saw the confliction on McKay's face. "Its a couple weeks before the Daedalus is due back anyway. Give me that time to convince you to stay. You owe me that much."

Suddenly feeling exhausted Rodney leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes. The pad of paper and pen falling to his side.  
He heard Sheppard push himself away from the bed and move toward the door.

"Alright, John."Rodney said quietly.

Sheppard smiled and left the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for the reviews.

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress  
Notes and summary: See part one

Jennifer was half way across when she heard a familiar rumble. She picked up her pace as best she could but Jennifer knew she'd never make it all the way before the tremor struck.

Jennifer's breath caught in her throat. She thought of John and tried to draw on the strength his image gave.

Jennifer was able to go a few more steps before the quake hit. Not having any other option Jennifer flattened herself against the wall.  
She curled her hands into the dirt, and prayed.

* * *

"You up for some company?"Sheppard asked from the doorway of the infirmary. It'd been less than five hours since Sam's surgery. He was amazed she was awake and sitting up.

Sam looked up and smiled tiredly. "Yeah."

John nodded and moved toward her bed sitting down in a chair. "How are you doing?"

Sam gingerly shifted so she was facing Sheppard. "Amazing what pain meds do. I'm tired and still a little weak. They said the surgery went well and I should be back on duty in a week or two. Will have crutches for awhile."

"That's good."John said as he studied a spot on the wall behind her.

"What's going on?"Carter asked trying to gauge Sheppard's mood.

"Well, I managed to keep Rodney from jumping ship."

"What?"Sam asked startled. She knew Rodney was emotionally drained from the last few months….but quit? Rodney? "He quit?"

"Wanted too."John replied as he settled back in the chair. "I managed to get him to at least think about staying."

"Good."Sam acknowledged then after a beat she met his gaze. "He feels guilty."

John swallowed the lump that suddenly rose in his throat. "I know. I told him Jen's death wasn't his fault."

"It's going to take him awhile. He's going to have to reach that place on his own."

Sheppard nodded.

Sam hesitated, being in command was tricky. She had heard the rumors of Jennifer and John's relationship like everyone else. Sam had chosen not to confront them on it since it hadn't interfered with any Gate related activity.

Sam knew all too well that military regs were military regs. They were there for a reason. But Sam also know those regs had been written when people hadn't dared to dream about serving in another galaxy.  
Or living in an alien city so far from home.

"John,"Sam began quietly. "How are you? You look like hell."

Sheppard's lips quirked ruefully as he met her gaze. "Thanks."

"Seriously."Sam said as she glanced around to see if anyone was within earshot. "Off the record. You can talk to me."

John shook his head. "Even off the record, Sam, there are things I can't tell you."

Sam gently touched his right hand. "Pegasus has different rules."

John stood and moved a few feet away from the chair.  
There wasn't enough room to pace.

"I'm not immune to the rumors, John."

Sheppard looked back at Carter.

"You can trust me, John. Talk to me."

"I loved her."Sheppard stated simply before turning and leaving the infirmary.

Sam watched John leave as she slumped back against the pillows. Sam shook her head sadly and wondered not for the first time why good people had to suffer.

* * *

Rodney McKay shot awake and cursed. As he fought to control his rapid breathing Rodney leaned back against the pillows turning to look out the window.

Another nightmare.

Unfortunately this one he had clear memory of. The images came back fast and furious.

Jennifer falling.  
Jennifer screaming.  
Jennifer being buried alive by a quake.

Rodney ran a hand over his sweaty face. He wondered if the ghosts would haunt him for the rest of his days.  
Rodney shook his head. He wouldn't blame them if they did.  
It was the penance that he deserved.


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for the reviews.

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress  
Notes and summary: See part one

John retreated to the Mess. Being in the infirmary had almost been too much. He kept expecting to see Jen walk out of her office or out of one of the operating rooms.

He could almost still smell her perfume.

John stepped into line and half heartedly loaded a tray with a bowl of soup and half a sandwich. He wasn't hungry.  
His stomach had been in knots for days.

Sheppard took a small table by the window and sat down. As he did he heard a familiar voice call his name.  
John nodded at Teyla and motioned for her to join him.  
Teyla smiled as she sat down across from Sheppard.

After a few minutes of small talk Teyla met John's gaze. "I do not mean to bring up an unpleasant subject. Some people have been asking about Jennifer's memorial service. They wish to say goodbye."

John winced and pushed his tray of half eaten food away.

Teyla instantly reached across and placed a comforting hand on John's left arm. "I'm sorry….I should not have…."

John covered her hand with his. "It's alright…..just something I've been avoiding."

"Do you want me to take care of the arrangements?"

John shook his head. "Thanks, but no. Tell them it'll probably be day after tomorrow. I know Sam will want to be there."

John glanced at his watch and stood. "I should get going. I'll let you know when I have the details. See you later."

"Goodbye."Teyla replied quietly as she looked worriedly at John's tray of barely touched food.

As Teyla watched John leave she couldn't help but wonder just how much her friend could endure.

* * *

Jennifer coughed on the dust filled air and struggled to keep her fingers from slipping. The latest quake wasn't strong but it'd been enough to knock Jennifer off her precarious perch. She'd barely managed to grab onto the metal ribbon.

In the process Jennifer had twisted herself so awkwardly that she knew she'd reinjured some of her ribs.

Jennifer shook her head, not that those injuries mattered now. If she didn't keep her grip nothing would matter.

Jennifer fought to steady her breathing. Her hands were sweaty from the exertion making it difficult to grip the metal.

Once her breathing was more under control Jennifer began to pull herself along the ledge. She knew she didn't have the strength to pull herself up on it. So one handhold at a time Jennifer made her way toward the ladder.

* * *

Rodney knew he shouldn't be up and around. Every step he took reminded him of his strained muscles and bruised ribs.  
However after fighting so hard to be released to his quarters Rodney found himself going stir-crazy.  
Too much time alone.  
Too much time to think.

Rodney had taken a shower and pulled on a clean uniform. Something had been nagging at him since he'd woken an hour before.  
Once he was out of the shower Rodney realized what it was.  
Now Rodney just had to find a way to take care of it.

As he moved along the familiar corridors Rodney's first instinct had been to go to Sam. But after a quick call to the infirmary Dr. Sokun informed him that Sam was sleeping and under heavy pain meds.  
Wouldn't be up to visitors for several hours.

That left Rodney with one alternative.

Rodney found John in one of the main conference rooms having just finished briefing SGA-4.  
Rodney waited until SGA-4 filed out.

John looked up in surprise and then his eyes narrowed. "Rodney, I'm going to have Sokun….."

Rodney held up a warning hand as he eased himself into one of the first chairs. "Don't start mothering. I know my limits."

"What can I do for you?"Sheppard asked as he took a seat across from Rodney. He didn't like the dark circles under his friend's eyes. Maybe he should see if Sokun could prescribe something.

Rodney started to lean forward to put his hands on the table and instantly regretted it as pain shot through his rib cage. Wincing Rodney leaned back and met Sheppard's gaze.  
He wasn't up to an argument but Rodney would fight tooth and nail on this one.

"We need to go back."Rodney stated quietly.

"Rodney….."Sheppard replied this was the last thing in the world he wanted to talk about today.

"Jennifer would want us to see the mission through. We have to evacuate those people before the quakes get any worse."

Sheppard shook his head. "I'm not risking anybody else. They refused our help, remember?"

"They thought we were like the Genii."

"And you did everything to convince them that we're not and they still sent back a list of demands."

"We have to try."

John sighed and ran a hand over his forehead. The migraine he'd been fighting all morning was intensifying. He knew it was mainly from lack of sleep and lack of food. But he couldn't do anything about either at the moment.

"Rodney, the only way we can reach the village now is by puddlejumper. Even if we convinced them to go we'd still have to land the jumpers to do an evacuation. It's too risky."

"Is it that,"Rodney bit back, "Or do you just not want to see where she died?"

John winced as McKay's jab hit a little too close to home.

"She'd want us to get them to safety."Rodney continued.

"I know."John whispered. "I'll send a jumper through let Radek get a reading."

"I can do the scan."

Sheppard shook his head as he stood. "You're not up to it, Rodney. You can barely sit straight in that chair without pain."

Rodney's eyes narrowed. "I know my limits. I can sit in a jumper and do a scan."

"It's not the jumper…..it's the gate travel."

"I can handle it."

"Fine."John replied tersely as he stood and headed for the door. "Be ready in thirty."


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for the reviews.

I'm not entirely happy with the first part of this chapter...but it is what it is.

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress  
Notes and summary: See part one

When Jennifer reached the ladder she was dismayed to see that nearly all the rungs were either missing or broken beyond use. The good news however was that both poles seemed to hold her weight.

Jennifer hung between them for a moment trying to gather her dwindling strength. As she gripped the poles a memory surfaced. Jennifer smiled through the tears as she remembered one of her first date/nondate with John.

It'd been a nondate since it was a team outing but it was as close as they could get at the time.

During an offworld mission a few months back SGA-6 had discovered a wonderful swimming spot. A huge beautiful lake with lots of trees bordering it and not one but two beaches.

All tests had come back that the water was safe from bacteria and any other unfriendly alien lifeforms.

Jennifer smiled as she remembering Sam taking a random day and declaring it beach day and sending as many personnel as possible to the lake. For a few hours Sam figured a skeleton crew could handle Atlantis and the one currently ongoing mission.

Since Atlantis was not equipped with barbeque grills. Something John had promised to make SGC send in the next supply run. The group had set up two fires and quickly had food cooking.

Jennifer had been standing by one of the fires talking with Lorne and Rodney when she felt hands encircle her waist. Before she could react Jennifer had found herself airborne. With a startled scream Jennifer had hit the water.

Sputtering Jennifer had broke the surface. She looked around for the culprit and found John standing in the water grinning.

At her glare he had simply replied. 'You looked hot.'

John had swam out to her and treaded water.

'What are you, twelve?'Jennifer had asked though it'd been hard to stay mad at him for long.

'Couldn't resist.'John replied as he moved as close as he dared without arousing the Atlantis rumor mill.

'You'll pay for that.'

'Will I?'

'Yes, and you won't see it coming.'

John laughed and Jennifer remembered relishing the sound. She didn't hear it often enough.

John had glanced around before planting a kiss on her bare left shoulder. 'I'll look forward to it.'

Jennifer had smiled and lightly placed a hand on his bare chest.

They had swam and laughed for a better part of an hour before the call for lunch made them head back to the beach.

Jennifer blinked back tears and wiped her sweaty right hand on her pants before gripping the pole once again.  
She planted her feet against the dirt wall and slowly began the climb.

* * *

Rodney stifled a pained gasp as the puddlejumper finally shot through the event horizon on MSV-801.

"Sorry."Lorne apologized from the pilot's seat. "Can't exactly cushion worm holes like air currents on Earth."

"Don't worry about it."Rodney replied through gritted teeth.

Evan glanced at Rodney worriedly out of the corner of his eye as he maneuvered the jumper toward the village. He'd bit his tongue when Sheppard had first told him about going back. Evan hadn't thought McKay was up for it and he still didn't.

Though being a survivor of more bad missions than Evan cared to count he certainly understood McKay's motivation.

"You can stop it here."McKay stated as the jumper hovered over a small cluster of trees not far from the ill-fated mine shaft. "We don't have to go very far for me to conduct the scans."

"Okay."Lorne acknowledged quietly.

McKay pulled his laptop from the floor between the two seats and flipped it open. He pulled up the needed program and added in a few calculations. Rodney settled back in his seat but kept his eyes focused on the screen.

Rodney was grateful he'd won the fight about coming back. However, now that he was here Rodney found he couldn't look at the planet for more than a few minutes.

The computer beeped signaling the end of one scan. Rodney pulled up the data and frowned.  
This was going to make convincing Sheppard all the more difficult.

"Damn."Rodney swore as he impatiently pulled up the other data before the second scan was complete.

"What?"Lorne asked as he leaned forward to look at the computer screen.

Rodney shook his head sadly. "The seismic activity of this planet has increased by fifty percent since we were here."

"We'll just up the number of jumpers we bring. Go in quick, grab the villagers and get out."

Rodney turned slightly in his seat instantly regretting the movement. "Major, this planet is literally tearing itself apart. Each quake they have now is stronger and more violent than the last."

Evan frowned. "All the more reason….."

"You're preaching to the choir, Major."Rodney replied as he clicked the laptop shut. "I'm going to need to study this data more closely if we're going to convince Sheppard. There has to be away to find a gap in the quakes. A way to find a safety window."

"Home,then?"Evan asked his fingers resting lightly on the controls.

Rodney nodded. "Home."

Lorne turned the puddlejumper around and headed back to the gate. He dialed the DHD and within minutes they were back on Atlantis.

* * *

Sokun hadn't been entirely happy when Sam insisted she was up to having visitors. He knew what her vitals were and what her lab tests were.  
Both telling him that she needed nothing but uninterrupted rest.

Sokun looked back at Sheppard who was waiting in the doorway. "You have fifteen minutes, Colonel. No more."

"Understood."John replied as he noted the paleness of Sam's face.

"I'm fine, John."Sam said quietly answering his unasked question. "He's being overprotective."

"Let him be overprotective."John urged as he sat down in a nearby chair. "Take as much time as you need to recover. We've got things handled."

Sam nodded than a smirk crossed her face. "Jack would laugh at me if he knew a broken leg was keeping me in the infirmary."

John leaned forward. "I know for a fact he wouldn't and so do you. Besides it's more than a broken leg, Sam."

"I know."Sam replied softly. "It's just after everything to be sidelined by a little internal bleeding and a bad leg."

"You'll be back on your feet before you know it."John stated. "Do you need me to bring you anything? Books? MP3 player?"

"Maybe later."

John glanced at his watch and knew his fifteen minutes were almost up. "Sam, do you think Sokun would spring you for a half hour tomorrow?"

"Maybe, if given the right circumstance. What's going on?"

John let out a long breath. "Jen's memorial service is set for ten tomorrow morning."

Sam swallowed hard. "I'll be there. How are you?"

John didn't answer right away. He'd been asked that so often over the past few days that he wasn't sure how to answer any more.

Sam noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "When was the last time you slept?"

John smirked humorously. "Depends on your definition of sleep."

"John….."

"I'm okay, Sam."John replied as he caught Sokun's stern look from across the room. He nodded at the doctor. "Oh, one more thing before I go….McKay's trying to get enough evidence to convince us that we need to complete the mission on MSV-801 and get those people off. He insisted he was up to gate travel so I let him go to do a scan on the earthquake activity."

"You let him go?"

"Have you tried arguing with McKay?"

Sam sighed. "Point. He's not up to it, John. No matter what he says."

"I know that, you know that. Sokun knows that. But once McKay has something in his head………."

"Did he find anything? I don't want to leave those people, John, but I don't want to risk anybody else."

"Should be back any time. I told him the only way we could do it now would be a jumper evac and even then the risks are way up there."

Sokun cleared his throat.

John stood and backed away from the bed. "I'm going, I'm going. Let me know if you need anything, Sam, and I'll keep you posted."

"Thanks. Do me a favor, John."

"Name it."

"Have Rodney stop by."Sam stated as she leaned back against the pillow her eyelids drifting closed.

"Will do."John replied as he turned to leave not sure if she heard him or not.


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks for the reviews, helps feed the muse. :)

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress  
Notes and summary: See part one

By some miracle or sheer luck Jennifer hadn't decided which she'd made it to the top of the ladder before the next quake hit.  
Jennifer shifted her feet trying to get a stable position.

At the top of the ladder she'd found what she hadn't dared to hope.  
A door.  
Or what used to be a door.

The metal was so corroded and rusted you could hardly tell it had been metal.  
Jennifer hoped against hope that with the metal being in such bad shape that this Genii door would be easier to open than the last one they attempted.

Once again Jennifer felt a pang of apprehension and guilt at the thought of Sam and Rodney. She could only pray that they'd gotten out.  
Jennifer knew that if they were still here they would've tried to contact her some how.  
Assuming they were alive.

Jennifer shuddered at the thought and shifted her stance so she could press against the door. The door itself was barely big enough to allow an Ewok through.  
The years of quakes had pushed it further into the soil.

Jennifer could only hope there was something behind it other than solid dirt.

Finally the metal shifted under her fingers and Jennifer gave one more push. The metal groaned and gave way crumbling into three pieces.

Jennifer quickly moved out of the way as one of the pieces tilted toward her and fell into the abyss below.

Jennifer turned her attention back to where the door had been and bit back an excited yelp.

She saw light.  
Well not exactly light, light, but more lightening of the darkness than she'd seen in days.  
Or however long she'd been stuck here.

Jennifer eased one knee up onto the small opening and immediately the dirt crumbled under her weight.  
Jennifer quickly grabbed one of the ladder poles with both hands. After steadying herself Jennifer took a deep breath and tried again.

Some part of it had to be stable.  
It just had to be.  
She couldn't have come this close……

Moving a few inches over Jennifer placed the same knee on the dirt.  
This time it held.  
Jennifer smiled.

Carefully Jennifer eased her full weight into the small opening.  
Once on all fours Jennifer cautiously stuck one hand out in front of her trying to determine what was there.

When she was met with no resistance Jennifer moved slowly forward.  
Forward, and upward.

* * *

"You wanted to see me?"Rodney asked not looking up from his hand held computer.

When only silence answered him Rodney looked up. "Sam?"

Sam opened her eyes and flashed a sheepish smile. "Sorry. Have a seat, Rodney."

"If you're going to lecture or yell I'd rather stand."

"Rodney….."

"Fine."McKay replied as he sat down placing the small computer on his lap.

"John tells me you went back."

Rodney looked past her to a spot on the wall. "Yes."

"Why was it so important for you to risk your health when Radek could've easily done the scan."

"Because."

"McKay….."Sam warned wearily. She was in no mood for him to resort to childish actions.

Finally Rodney met her gaze. "It had to be me, Sam. I owe her to finish this."

Sam reached over and gently took Rodney's hand in hers. "She wouldn't want you pushing yourself too hard either. You're hurt, Rodney, you need to rest and heal."

"I'll heal after I see this mission through."Rodney replied stubbornly.

"Doing that won't bring her back."

"Don't tell me you're on his side."Rodney snapped. "I haven't even analyzed all the data yet."

Sam shook her head. "I'm on nobody's side, Rodney. I want to evacuate those people too. I just can't risk any more lives without a definite plan."

"Let me come up with one."Rodney pleaded as he held up the small computer. "I'm close, Sam…..I just need to run a couple more variations."

"Only if you promise to get eight hours of sleep."

"I thought Sheppard was the only one into mothering."Rodney muttered.

"I can get Sokun…..if you're having trouble…."

"I can get to sleep on my own, thanks."Rodney replied a little too harshly. It was just the waking up in a cold sweat after an hour thing that kept the dark circles under his eyes.

"Rodney…."

Rodney squeezed the hand that still covered his. "I promise, Sam. I'll get some rest."

"Not in the lab, either."

Rodney blinked. "Now you're not playing fair."

Sam merely raised an eyebrow.

Rodney stood holding up both hands in a defensive position. "Alright, alright. I'll be a good boy and go to my quarters."

"Thank you."

Rodney nodded and quietly walked out of the infirmary.

* * *

It was just before nine that night when Evan found Sheppard in the Mess nursing a mug of coffee.

"Isn't it a little late for caffeine?"Lorne asked as he slid into the seat across from his commanding officer.

John smiled darkly as he took a sip. "I don't sleep much these days. What can I do for you, Major?"

Evan looked down at his folded hands then at a spot on the wall behind Sheppard. He'd been sure about this when he came in now he wasn't so sure.  
But Jennifer had meant a lot to him.  
She'd been the little sister he'd never had.

John took another sip of the now luke-warm coffee and waited. He'd known Lorne long enough to know when to push and when not too.

Evan took a breath and then let it out. "Have all the details for the memorial service been finalized?"

John nodded. "Mostly. Why, do you have something in mind?"

"There's something I'd like to contribute if that's alright."

John absently fiddled with the handle of the coffee mug. "You two were good friends so I'm sure whatever it is, it's fine."

"Thanks."Lorne replied as he stood. "Go easy on that stuff, will you? I think it'd be better as a lubricant for the jumpers."

"I'll try."

"Good night."

"Major?"Sheppard called halting the younger man two tables down.

"Yes, Sir?"Evan asked as he turned back.

"You know your friendship meant the world to her, don't you?"Sheppard asked quietly."She loved every moment you two spent together…..every practical joke…..every midnight raid of the kitchen….."

Evan smiled sadly swallowing the sudden lump in his throat. "Feeling was mutual. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night."Sheppard replied as he watched Lorne leave.

After a moment John stood and returned the half full mug to the counter.

It was definitely going to be a long night.


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks for the reviews. And many thanks to Nika Dixon for her input on this chapter. :)

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress  
Notes: / indicate a flashback sequence

Elation flooded through Jennifer as she continued to make progress up the small tunnel. She didn't want to trust her sudden good fortune.  
So far she'd only had to dig through a small mound of dirt and rocks that had partially blocked the tunnel.

It really worried her that there hadn't been a quake in almost an hour. Jennifer quickened her pace knowing that the no news is good news theory more than likely didn't apply to earthquakes.  
The next one was probably going to be the worst yet.  
The last place she wanted to be was in a tunnel that was barely four feet tall.

More than anything Jennifer just wanted to be outside. She hated not knowing if it was daytime or night.  
She wanted fresh air.  
She wanted water.  
Lots of water.

Jennifer swallowed in an effort to get moisture to her always dry mouth. Her breathing was ragged and her injuries screamed in agony with each movement.  
There was no time to rest.  
Not while she was underground.  
Probably not when she was above ground either.

As soon as Jennifer hit the surface she knew she'd have to run.  
She had to get to stable ground.

* * *

It was after midnight when the words on Rodney's laptop screen started to blur. With a frustrated sigh Rodney closed the screen and set the computer on his nightstand.

Rodney settled back against the pillows. He'd made good progress, but it wasn't enough to declare it a victory yet.

Earthquakes had always been a difficult thing to predict. At least on Earth they had a series of fault lines to work from as a point of origin.  
On MSV-801 it seemed that whatever the Genii had been mining for had sped up the planet's destruction.

The planet was destroying itself.

Rodney closed his eyes picturing the data in his head. The only good news he'd been able to find wasn't going to appease Sheppard any.

The quakes were getting violently stronger but they were coming farther and farther apart.  
They'd definitely have a window to do the evacuation.  
It was just a matter of how far they could press their luck.

Exhaustion finally claimed him and Rodney sank into what he hoped was a dreamless oblivion.

* * *

Jennifer was completely blinded by the sunlight as soon as she crawled free of the tunnel. It took all of her will power to stop for a moment and close her eyes.  
She had to take the time to let them adjust. Stumbling around blind wouldn't get her anywhere.

Jennifer sank into the grass relishing the warm breeze that brushed against her.  
The sun though blinding her felt wonderful on her skin.  
She could hear birds in the nearby forest.

Ten more minutes passed and Jennifer slowly opened her eyes.  
She blinked as the world swam into focus.  
Slowly.  
Too slowly.

Jennifer blinked once more relieved when the blurs became shapes and the colors intensified.

Slowly Jennifer stood her legs unsteady. She held her arms out for balance. After a moment Jennifer took a step and fell.

Cursing, Jennifer righted herself. It was only then that she realized it wasn't the weakness of her legs that caused her to fall.  
The ground itself was shaking.

Fighting back terror Jennifer took off at a run for the trees.

* * *

It was nearly one in the morning when Evan put his paint brushes away and moved the stool back to its spot.  
He'd set up the easel in the far left corner of his quarters closest to the window.

Evan had finished the painting the day before but had wanted to do some final touchups tonight after getting Sheppard's approval.  
He'd done this one from a pencil sketch. Different than how he usually approached painting but he hadn't done many people.

Evan shook his head sadly. When he'd done that pencil sketch he never thought the finished product would be used for a memorial.

Evan moved to stand against the back wall trying to get a better perspective.  
In the painting Jennifer was laughing.  
Her eyes sparkling.  
The fading afternoon sunlight bouncing off her hair.  
She was dressed in a casual green t-shirt and jeans her hair down.

A ghost of a smile crossed Evan's face as he remembered the day he'd done the drawing. It'd become tradition that everyone going to movie night gather in the Mess before hand.

Usually it turned into a free-for-all movie trivia session. That day Evan had been content to sit and listen to the banter. He'd just returned from the last of three back to back missions.

/ Jennifer looked at Rodney like he was crazy. 'You've never seen Speed?'

Rodney raised an eyebrow as he munched on a plate of French fries. 'Do I look like a cop flick type? Assuming that's the genre it is or have we flipped genre's again?'

John swiped a chocolate chip cookie off of Jennifer's plate as he said. 'I'm surprised you've seen it.'

Jennifer elbowed him. 'It has romance in it…..and Keanu Reeves. What more could a girl want?'

John grinned. 'So you like the Keanu type, huh?'

'So what's the plot?'Rodney inquired as he beat the bottom of a stubborn ketchup bottle.

'Die Hard on a bus.'John replied. 'You do know what Die Hard is don't you?'

Rodney looked up from the ketchup bottle with a slight glare. 'Contrary to popular belief I wasn't living under a rock before coming to Atlantis. Yes, I know who Bruce Willis is.'

'Miracle.'John muttered causing Jennifer to kick him under the table.

'Rodney,'Jennifer stated as she reached over and took a handful of fries. 'Basic plot was that a mad bomber……'

'Is there any other kind?'Rodney asked with a grin.

Jennifer laughed. 'Seriously. A mad bomber who's a former cop placed a bomb on a city bus in Los Angeles rigging it to explode if it reached over fifty.'

'Let me guess.'Rodney stated finally winning the battle with the ketchup bottle.'Hero saves the day and wins the girl.'

Jennifer leaned back in her chair. 'Of course.'

'Mmmph.'Rodney replied through a mouthful of French fries./

Evan blinked away tears and moved back to the easel. He draped a protective covering over the canvas.

Evan walked to the closet and pulled out a pair of running shoes. He sighed as he slipped his feet in and tied the laces.  
These early morning runs were becoming too much of a routine.

Evan turned the lights off and stepped out into the hallway.


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the delay…..I've rewritten these next two chapters at least six times……

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress  
Notes: Anything with single slashes are thoughts or flashbacks.

Jennifer ran through the woods. Her rational mind told her that she should try to find the gate.  
But coming up out of that tunnel she was disoriented and with the new tremor she hadn't had time to get her bearings.

Now with her injured ribs and body fighting for air Jennifer finally had to slow down. She leaned heavily against a tree.

Jennifer knew she needed water. She could feel the affects on her body already.

When her breathing slowed Jennifer raised her head to look around. In the distance she thought she heard the bubbling of a creek.  
But then again could just be her mind playing tricks.

Jennifer headed in the direction of the creek. She had to get water or she'd never find her way back to the gate.

As she started to move her body began to fight her as the adrenaline wore off.  
Black spots began to swim in front of Jennifer's eyes. She blinked them back taking another step.

The spots appeared again along with a piercing pain in her left side.

Jennifer stopped hoping to ride out the pain. However as she did the ground came crashing up to meet her as she passed out.

* * *

A cramp in his right leg finally made Evan stop. He leaned against the wall of a pier in the south west part of the city.

/What I get for not warming up more./Evan berated himself as he breathed through the pain waiting for it to pass.

Evan stared out at the dark waves. Some days he wished he had invested in his cousin Michael's seaplane site-seeing business in the Keys.

No lost friends.  
No funerals.  
No ugly aliens.  
Just sand,surf and rich tourists.

Evan shook his head…../I'd be bored within a week./

As the pain lessened in his side a memory worked its way into Evan's consciousness.

It was when he and Jen's friendship had really strengthened. One of the first times he'd gotten her to trust him.  
He'd just returned from a mission. It was late and he'd been taking a short cut to his quarters.

/ Evan had just rounded a corner when a noise stopped him. He stopped in the middle of the corridor and listened.

A muffled sob.  
Followed by a choked hiccup.  
Something fell to the ground and a familiar 'Oh crap.' reached Evan's ears.

Worried Evan crossed the corridor and passed through another small hallway to the one beyond.

There he'd found Jennifer on hands and knees searching the dark floor for something.

He placed his pack down and crouched next to her.

'Hey, Doc. You okay?'

'Yeah, just dropped something.'Jen replied as she wiped a few tears away. 'When did you get back?'

'Just now. What did you lose?'

Jen held up her right wrist and motioned to the silver charm bracelet. 'Charm fell off.'

Evan looked around by her feet and then something glittered by the floorboard near the window. He reached over and picked up the small gold heart. As he did he instantly recognized the tiny object.  
Evan had teased Sheppard when he'd purchased it. John had claimed it was a belated birthday present for his mother.  
Now John's mood over the last few days made sense.

Like everyone else Evan had heard the rumors.  
Now as he looked at Jen's tears he wanted to knock Sheppard to the other side of the city.  
C.O. or no.

'This it?' Evan asked as he handed the tiny object to her.

Jen nodded gratefully as she took it from him. 'Yeah, thanks.'

As he stood Evan gently placed a hand under her chin. 'Jen, you can talk to me…..about anything and it won't go any farther than the two of us.'

Jennifer blinked back fresh tears. 'I know, Evan, thank you.'

Evan released his hand. 'Something going on back home? Your Dad?'

Jen shook her head and moved back toward the window. 'No, he's fine.'

'Somebody break your heart?'Evan asked carefully as he offered her a brief smile. 'If they did I'm fully offering myself up as a big brother. I can beat him up if you want.'

The corners of Jen's mouth pulled up ever so slightly. 'He didn't break my heart….not completely.'

'I didn't realize you were seeing somebody.'

Jen fingered the charm not meeting his gaze. 'It wasn't serious….I thought it might be….'her voice caught. 'But apparently he didn't.'

Evan felt his right hand tighten into a fist and forced it to relax.  
He really wanted to clobber Sheppard.

'Whoever he is, Jen. He's a fool.'

Jennifer shook her head. 'He's a good man.'

'Not if he's hurting you.'Evan countered.

Jennifer turned back to the window. 'You should go get some rest, Evan. It's late.'

Evan reached and gently took her right hand tugging her away from the window. 'Come on, I know how to cheer you up.'

'How?'

'When was the last time you ate?'

'Yesterday morning…..maybe.'

'I'm starved….let's go.'

'It's nearly two in the morning.'Jennifer protested as she followed along behind him.

'Since when do we follow normal eating times?'

'Point.'

* * *

The mess was dark and deserted when they arrived. Evan led the way to the kitchen and flipped the lights on.

'You do this often?'

Evan caught her brief smile as he headed to the large refrigerator. 'You going to report me, Doc?'

'I'm sure you're not the only one.'Jennifer replied as she moved behind him to the fridge and opened the top freezer.

Evan looked up from the microwave where he'd been defrosting some ground meat. 'Ice cream does not count as a meal.'

'At two in the morning it does.'

'I'm fixing you a burger. You want cheese?'

'Evan….'

'I'll take that as a yes. Fries?'Evan replied as he placed two small amounts of meat on the grill.

Jennifer laughed as she sat on part of the empty counter by the sink. 'Alright, alright. Yes on both. Where'd you learn your way around a kitchen?'

Evan grabbed a spatula as he turned to face her. 'Being a short order cook paid my way through college.'

Thirty minutes later they sat in the mess munching quietly on burgers and fries.

'Really good, Evan. Thank you.'

'Anytime.'

'Jen?'Evan asked.

'Yeah?'

'This guy you were involved with…..how long?'

Jennifer sighed. 'Three months on and off.'

'You want to talk about it?'

Jennifer shook her head. 'It's not that I don't trust you, Evan. I do…..I just…..'

'Its okay, Doc.'Evan replied quietly. 'Whenever you do need to talk you know where to find me.'

'Thank you.'Jennifer replied as she stood. As she walked by Evan she squeezed his right shoulder. 'I'm going to have that ice cream now. You want any?'

'Sure, why not.' /

Evan pushed himself away from the railing and slowly made his way back to his quarters.


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress  
Notes: Anything with single slashes are thoughts or flashbacks.

Footsteps and anxious hushed voices woke Jennifer. She blinked struggling to get her eyes to adjust to the fading light of dusk.

Out of the shadows surrounding her Jennifer spotted four silhouettes.  
Small silhouettes

Finally her eyes focused and Jennifer was startled to see children.

The same children who hadn't helped them before.  
Too afraid of the punishment their parents would give for being out that far.

Jennifer knew she had no strength left to help herself any longer. She needed their help.

She knew she must look like hell.  
She probably looked very scary to them.

Jennifer reached her arm out anyway praying her voice would be strong enough for them to hear. "Please……help……"

Jennifer felt her head loll to the side and once again darkness over came her.

* * *

As daylight crept into his quarters John's right hand was frozen around the right sleeve of his dress uniform that was hanging in the closet.

John knew it was silly. It was just a piece of clothing. However, he just couldn't bring himself to take it out of the closet.

He'd done that too many times.  
He couldn't do it for her.  
Not for her.

John let go of the sleeve and turned around. He leaned against the wall and slid to the floor dragging his knees to his chest.  
John rested his forehead on his knees and felt the tears begin to flow.  
This time he didn't fight them.

Six months seemed like an incredibly short amount of time.  
Too short of a time for him to have felt the intensity of feelings that he did for her.  
But for them it had made sense.  
Living in Pegasus you never knew how long or what the galaxy would throw at you next.

John straightened and wiped the tears away. As he did he remembered a pivotal moment.

It hadn't been about the sex that night.  
He'd been a fool and almost lost her.  
He hadn't been sure she'd take him back.

As John sat there now he was extremely grateful that she did.

John leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. He tried to concentrate on her smile.  
How beautiful she'd looked in one of his old Air Force t-shirts as he'd snuck into her quarters that night.

The mission had been ugly.  
Par for the course lately, but still ugly.  
He'd lost three marines in a fire fight.

/ After briefing Sam and returning his gear John stood outside Jen's quarters.

He knew she was asleep.  
It was well past three in the morning.

He had no right to be here. They'd had a fight a few days before. One he'd deserved every angry word she'd thrown at him.  
John hadn't seen her since.

Tonight though John felt selfish.  
He needed her too badly.

Enough to endure whatever angry wrath waited him on the other side of the door.

All he wanted to do was curl up next to her and hold her close.

John overrode the security measure on the access panel and stepped inside. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark John saw she was sprawled on the bed lying on her stomach. Her hands stretched toward the spare pillow. The sheets kicked off and in disarray.

She was wearing one of his old white Air Force t-shirts.

John went to the right side of the bed and sat down as carefully as possible. He kicked off his boots wincing as the left one collided with her nightstand.

Jennifer stirred at the noise and opened her eyes. Her eyes quickly narrowed. 'John, I don't remember inviting you over.'

'I know…..and I know you're mad and have every right to kick me out.'

'You said you didn't want us any more.'

'I was an idiot. I'm sorry.'

Jennifer lightly touched the fresh scratches on his face. 'What happened?'

'Lost three. Got ambushed outside of the village.'

'I'm sorry…..who?'

'Stangel, Holden and Jaxton.'John said quietly.

'Anybody else hurt?'

"No.'

'John…..'

'Don't tell me it's not my fault.'John stated anger and bitterness creeping into his voice. 'They were under my command. That makes it my fault.'

'Can you see the future? You can't predict every move people make, John. No matter how good you are.'

Jennifer pushed the covers aside and motioned for John to crawl in.

John hesitantly reached for her and Jen snuggled against him.

'This doesn't mean I forgive you.'

'I know.'John replied as he tightened his arms around her./

Slowly John stood and walked back to the closet. He pulled out his dress uniform and began to get ready.

Some how he had to figure out how to say goodbye.


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks for all the reviews. You guys are the best. :)

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress,  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

Ronon Dex was angry.  
The gym he stood in was empty.  
Too early in the day for anyone else to be available for sparring.

That meant Ronon didn't have anybody to fight.  
Ronon sighed. Especially today he wanted to fight.

He walked farther into the familiar room that had become a sanctuary for him. A place where he felt most at peace.

Ronon's gaze settled on the punching bag hanging in the far corner. Not usually his thing he preferred a moving target.  
He shrugged and moved toward the bag.  
It'd do.

Forgoing the boxing gloves Ronon began to rhythmically hit the bag. Ronon kept hitting loosing himself in the simple motions.  
He allowed his mind to go blank.  
He didn't want to think.  
He didn't want to feel.

"Ronon!"

Teyla's alarmed shout drew his attention away from the bag. He had no idea how much time had passed.  
He was sweating and breathing hard.

As Ronon stopped the movement of the bag he glanced around and saw a few others. That meant it was at least after day break.

Ronon looked back at Teyla and realized she had said something. Her eyes filled with concern.

"What?"

"Your hands."Teyla repeated as she gently reached for his hands that were still clutching the bag. "They need attention."

Ronon blinked and looked down pulling his hands away from the bag. He turned his hands over. The skin was badly torn and bloody……his fingernails bruised.  
He hadn't felt the pain.

"It's nothing."Ronon stated as he stalked toward a rack of towels on the left side of the room. He snatched a small white one and pressed it against his right hand that had the worst of the cuts.

Ronon walked over to a bench along the back wall and sat down. Teyla sat next to him and pressed another towel against his other hand.

"They may require stitches."

"No doctors."Ronon growled the last word catching n his throat. The double meaning of the phrase stung him and he looked away.  
Carson was gone….now Jennifer.

"Alright."Teyla acknowlwedged reluctantly as she stood. "Let me get you some ice."

Ronon gently snagged her right elbow and brought her back to a sitting position. "Stop mothering."

Teyla smiled briefly as she rested a hand on her stomach. "Difficult not to. Especially with ones who need looking after."

Ronon shook his head. "I don't."

Teyla settled back against the wall easing into the corner as she turned to face her friend. "Talk."

Ronon opened his mouth to protest but quickly shut it. He knew she'd wait indefinitely.

Ronon leaned his head back, the pain in his hands beginning to register.

"When did we get comfortable?"

"Comfortable?"Teyla replied not sure where his line of thought was going.

"When did this become home? When did they become family?"

Teyla smiled. She leaned forward and placed a light hand on his chest just above his heart. "When you allowed this to heal."

Ronon met her gaze. "In the beginning I didn't want to stay. I didn't want to know them. If I didn't know them I wouldn't care."

"It's natural to grieve, Ronon."

"I've done too much of that."

After a moment Teyla stood and took one of Ronon's hands in hers careful of his injuries.

"Come, it's time to get ready."

* * *

Cold was the first thing that registered.

It took Jennifer a moment to realize someone was pressing a damp cloth on her face and mouth.

Instinct took over and Jennifer began to struggle even though her eyes were closed.

"Ssssh."A soothing female voice said. "It's alright. You are safe…..you are at our village."

Jennifer relaxed but she still couldn't force her eyes open. It took too much effort.

The cool, wet cloth was placed against Jennifer's mouth once more.

"You must wake…..you need water."

With all her remaining willpower reserve Jennifer slowly opened one eye. The woman before her was middle aged, thin with shoulder length brown hair. Her eyes were green and kind.

The woman smiled as Jennifer opened both eyes. "Good."she moved to help Jennifer sit."I need you to sit so you may drink."

Jennifer didn't know how but with the woman's help she was able to inch herself painfully into a sitting position.

It was then that Jennifer noticed she was in clean, dry clothes and most of the dirt seemed to be gone from her face and hands.

"Here."The woman said as she pressed a tan clay glass into Jennifer's hands.

Jennifer had never been so happy or thankful to see water.

"Slow."The woman instructed as Jennifer took a gulp of water.

Jennifer took a breath and forced herself to take sips. When the cup was empty the woman retrieved a pitcher and poured another.

Finally Jennifer's throat felt well enough to speak. She turned grateful eyes toward the woman. "Thank you."

"You are welcome. My son and his friends found you in the woods and alerted us. I am sorry they did not tell us sooner that you and your friends had fallen."

Jennifer felt tears prick her eyes at the mention of Rodney and Sam. "My friends….do you know if they got home?"

The woman patted her hand gently. "I am sorry I do not."

Jennifer handed her the empty cup. "Thank you. I need to get home."

The woman grabbed Jennifer's right arm as she started to stand. "I am sorry but you can not leave."

Jennifer's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"The tremors are too dangerous. You will not reach the star circle."

Jennifer struggled to her unsteady feet. "I'll risk it."

The woman gently grasped Jennifer's shoulders forcing her to sit back down. "You need rest and nourishment……"

The woman stopped speaking her eyes fearful.

"What is it?"Jennifer asked.

"Tremor."The woman whispered

Then Jennifer felt it too and the tiny house began to tremble.


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for all the reviews. Tissue alert for the next couple chapters.

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress,  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

John left his quarters and took a less traveled route to the chapel. He didn't want any company.  
With each step that brought him closer to the chapel the more his emotions seemed to go into a tailspin.  
He wasn't sure he could get through this.

John rounded the corner and headed to the small room that held the chapel. It had originally been a research lab. When they had first arrived Elizabeth had received several requests for somewhere for people to pray no matter what domination.  
She had agreed and allowed the conversion of the lab into the chapel.

Atlantis didn't have a clergy on staff. There hadn't really been a need in the original expedition staff……except for funerals. That task had fallen on the officer's shoulders. Though now John was seriously thinking of putting a request into the IOA.

John let out a long breath and slowly opened the door to the chapel. As he stepped inside John felt like he'd had the wind knocked out of him.  
He was finding it very difficult to breathe.

John gripped the back of one of the chairs as he stared at Lorne's painting. He'd done an incredible job.

It was almost like she was in the room.

Jennifer's hazel eyes sparkled with laughter.  
Fading sunlight bounced off her hair.

John swallowed hard struggling to keep a hold on the tailspin. It wasn't working. He could feel the tears forming. He blinked them away.

Evan turned from where he'd been adjusting the stance of the easel.

"Sorry."Evan apologized quietly. "I should've shown it to you beforehand."

John straightened and waved off his apology. "No, it's okay. Just took me by surprise seeing her……"

"I know."Evan replied softly his own gaze fixed on the painting.

"You did a good job."John commented his voice raw and quiet.

Evan nodded as he swallowed the sudden lump of tears that had appeared. "When I did the original sketch I never thought I'd use it for this…..not for this."

"Doesn't seem real, does it?"

Evan shook his head. "No, I keep expecting to see her every time I turn a corner. Or every time I step in the Mess."He was quiet for a beat. "God, John, how are we going to do this again? How are we going to say goodbye?"

John ducked his head for a moment not able to look at the painting any longer. "I wish I knew, Evan. I wish I knew."

* * *

"Come, we must go."

As soon as Jennifer attempted to stand her legs instantly gave out. She caught the edge of the bed to keep from hitting the floor.

The woman was next to her immediately. "I will go get my husband. He will carry you. Do not worry your strength will return."

"Give me a minute."Jennifer protested her stumble had put strain on her injured ribs.

The house shook violently. Something fell on the street outside.

"I will return."The woman promised and then she was gone.

* * *

With slightly shaking hands John gripped the edge of the podium. Sam sat next to him in a wheelchair.

Teyla, Evan, Rodney, Ronon and Radek took up the first row.

The rest of the crowd was standing room only. Some spilled out into the hall. John's heart swelled as he looked at the huge number gathered. Jen had once told him she didn't think she'd made an impact since she'd only been on Atlantis a short time.

Now as John stared out at the hushed crowd he wished she could see their faces and know she'd impacted each and every one of them.

"Thank you all for coming."John began his voice strained. He swallowed hard and began again. "Today we gather to say goodbye to someone who was not only a trusted and beloved friend but a hero in the truest sense of the word.

Doctor Jennifer Keller saved lives inside and outside of the operating room. She touched every one of us with her heart, spirit and courage."

John paused, briefly meeting Rodney's gaze. "Even in her last moments Jennifer's thoughts were of others. Because of her actions the rest of her team is with us today.

Jennifer served with us a short time, but she will never be forgotten. She will remain in our hearts and memories forever."

John stepped back and felt Sam place a supportive hand on his right arm.

"This is a time for us to share our memories."John stated as he moved away from the podium. "I'll open the floor to anyone who wishes to do so."

After a long moment of silence broken only by sniffles Rodney stood and walked toward the podium.


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks for all the reviews. Tissue alert for the next couple chapters.  
And I promise there will definitely be a happy ending.

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress,  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

Just as Jennifer was about to risk it on her own the woman returned. With her was a man with black hair and brown eyes.  
Without a word he smiled kindly at her and scooped her up in his arms and they headed toward the door.

Jennifer knew it was futile. She could feel her strength failing rapidly. The little water she had wasn't enough to compensate for the lack of food.  
She was so tired, and everything hurt.  
All she wanted was to go home and hear the waves crashing against Atlantis.  
All she wanted was to have John's arms around her telling her she was safe.

So even though she knew there was no chance she asked anyway.

"If you just set me down and point me in the direction of the gate…..I'll be out of your hair."

The man shook his head. "It is not safe for you to travel. The star circle is a distance from here. When it is safe and you are stronger I promise we will escort you to the star circle."

"You can come with me."Jennifer pleaded remembering the original reason for their mission. "It's not safe for your people here. The quakes are getting worse."

As if on cue an aftershock rumbled beneath their feet.

The man and woman exchanged an anxious glance.

"We must hurry."The woman stated as she picked up her pace moving them quickly through the village to the outskirts of town.

"Where are we going?"Jennifer asked squinting into the setting sun.

"A stone structure."The man replied as he shifted her weight in his arms. "It was a gathering place for our ancestors. Most of the village has moved there."

Jennifer looked forward once more and saw a large two story white stone building come into view. It had a massive door and three windows across the front. It was long and narrow resembling a meeting hall or a lodge.

Jennifer felt her eyelids droop. She rested her head against the man's shoulder.  
Almost immediately exhaustion claimed her and she was asleep.

* * *

It took Rodney several minutes to gather the words he wanted. He had never been a man who expressed emotions easily. But he was never one to be short on words either and they were failing him now.

As Rodney stood there before the crowd there was so much he wanted to say about Jennifer.  
Instead only one memory came to mind.

Rodney leaned his arms on the podium and began.

"As most of you know I was on Jennifer's team that last mission. I-I wish to God I'd been able to pull her to safety before the rope snapped. I keep playing it over and over in my head if there was something else I could've done. If there was something else I should've done.  
She saved Sam and I that day and I'll be forever grateful.

Most of you only know Jennifer as the gifted doctor she was. But for those of us who were lucky enough to be her friends she'd give the shirt off her back if that's what we needed. No matter what time of day she was there if we needed to talk. Or just grab a coffee.

I remember one day in particular. Jen and I were headed down to an unused part of the city. An engineer had got injured doing a repair. While enroute the lift we were in got stuck.

I'm extremely claustrophobic. It took them almost two hours to get us out. They had to physically crawl up the chute and pry the doors open since the lift had completely shorted out and there was no way to repair it computer wise to get it moving again.

Jennifer kept me from climbing the walls. She talked to me telling me stories of growing up in Wisconsin. Stories of her father, of her college days, med school and family vacations.

She kept me from going crazy…..kept the walls of that small lift from closing in on me. I never really thanked her for that……Should have….another of my regrets. I'm not the easiest person to be around…..even worse in a tight space. She ignored my bad mood and saw it for what it was.

I'll truly miss those quiet times where we'd grab something from the mess and find a corner and talk about whatever. Jennifer was a kind and generous spirit. Something this universe needs more of."

Rodney looked over at Jennifer's painting for a long moment. He looked back at the crowd once more before walking slowly back to his seat.

* * *

Jennifer woke to a hand on her right shoulder gently shaking her. The darkness was only illuminated by two candles on opposite sides of the small room. She found the same woman from before sitting on the edge of the bed a plate of food in her hand.

"You must eat."

Jennifer eagerly took the plate from her. Whatever it was it smelled heavenly.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome."

Jennifer took a bite and looked back at the woman. "What is your name?"

"Leana."

Jennifer smiled. "Thank you, Leana for helping me."

Leana smiled and stood leaving a glass of water on the nightstand. "Your people tried to help us…..I am only returning the favor."

Jennifer took another mouthful of food. "We can still help you. Just come through the gate with me. We'll find another planet that's safe."

Leana shook her head sadly. "Our leaders are stubborn and narrow minded. They will not leave unless their demands are met. I am afraid their list is impossible."

Jennifer covered Leana's right hand with hers. "Nothing is impossible. We'll find a way."

Leana moved away from the bed and toward the door. "I hope you are right. I do not wish my children to live somewhere that is not safe."she looked back at Jennifer. "It is late….get some rest."


	22. Chapter 22

Thanks for all the reviews. Tissue alert for the next couple chapters.

With the memorial…..assume everyone speaks. I can't put everyone's eulogy in here or this would be fifty chapters long and no matter how enjoyable a fic is nobody wants to sit through fifty chapters. When I'm done I may do a missing scene type thing and post the other eulogy's to my personal website. :)

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress,  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

Evan looked at the crowd and almost walked out the door. Public speaking had never come easily to him. He'd always dreaded Speech class in college. He'd put it off until the last possible semester.  
But Jen was family…..blood or not.

Gripping the edges of the podium tightly Evan spoke quietly.

"From day one Jennifer and I clicked. We immediately fell into a comfortable brother/sister relationship. I knew I could count on her to be part of whatever practical joke scheme I came up with.  
I also knew she had my back….no matter what.

One time…..it was only her second off world mission. We had two teams going to deliver medical supplies and vaccinations. Her medical team had already been escorted back to Atlantis with the first SGA team. Jennifer stayed back with mine.

With her luck I should've known…..but there had been nothing to indicate anything hostile. Out of nowhere my team got caught in a firefight. We managed to take cover in a cluster of trees.

One of the younger guys had been hit….head wound. Looked worse than it was. But he was a new recruit and he flipped out seeing all the blood. Thought he was dying and freaked.  
He wouldn't let anyone near him. Wouldn't relinquish his weapon. He wouldn't respond to a direct order.

We managed to take out the hostiles while keeping half an eye on him.

I knew Jennifer was scared to death. But she was still able to calm down a very tense and dangerous situation. She just kept talking to him until he allowed her close enough to treat him.

She proved to a lot of people that day that she was stronger than people thought. She handled a very scared young man with grace and compassion."

Evan's voice broke forcing him to pause and begin again. "Jen was a gifted doctor and a wonderful friend. She was family to me…..I was fortunate to have her in my life even if it was only for a short time……too short."

Evan returned to his seat and sat down heavily. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  
He felt Teyla place a supportive hand on his left shoulder squeezing it gently.

At the front of the room Sam eased herself out of the wheelchair. She waved off John's offer of help as he started to rise.  
She slowly eased herself over to the podium and stood behind it.

* * *

Jennifer woke with a start. Disoriented she stared at the strange dark room. After a brief moment of panic Jennifer remembered where she was.  
She was safe with the villagers.  
She wasn't in the cold, dark mine of her nightmare.  
In her nightmare she was alone, dying and forgotten.

Jennifer shuddered and drew the blanket farther up around her shoulders. Her gaze drifted to the large window.  
Her thoughts wandered to John.

Jennifer wondered how he was coping. She prayed Rodney and Sam were alive because if they had perished Jennifer knew that would've taken a heavy toll on John.  
Jennifer knew John felt each loss under his command.

Jennifer leaned her head back against the pillow. Jennifer knew he had just started to deal with Elizabeth's death when he'd received news of his father's passing.  
From what little John had told her of his father she had known they weren't close. But still it was a huge loss coupled with Elizabeth and Dr. Beckett before that.  
It was a domino effect that anyone would struggle with.  
Plus add the burden of command…..

Jennifer looked once more at the stars. She knew she had to find a way home.  
She needed to get back to her family.  
She needed to get back to John.


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks for all the reviews. Tissue alert for the next couple chapters.  
I promise the rescue is coming. Hang in there a little bit longer...

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress,  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

"Thank you to those who have come up to speak."Sam began as she leaned heavily against the podium. "It's not easy to talk about someone you care about. Especially when you're dealing with your own grief."

Sam's gaze flickered briefly to John before she continued. "After Carson Beckett's death Jennifer was thrust into the role of CMO. She never wanted it. She knew there were people more qualified than she was.

Instead of sitting by the wayside waiting for a replacement CMO to arrive. Jennifer thrived in the position. She slowly became comfortable with command. The infirmary was hers and you didn't want to cross her if you did something to jeopardize it or a patient.

I am standing here today because of her and Rodney and I will never forget that. Trapped in that mine we didn't have many options. Time was dangerously running out with the tremors increasing.  
Jennifer was afraid as the rest of us were but still was willing to try whatever escape attempt we came up with. She even through in one of her own.

Living in an alien city, dealing with gate travel every day takes a certain kind of person. You either get used to it or you don't. There's no in-between.  
Jennifer was acclimating to gate travel…..it wasn't quite her favorite thing yet but she was getting used to it.

Even though gate travel wasn't her favorite thing she still wouldn't hesitate to go when we needed her. She rarely complained if the mission didn't go smoothly. Jennifer Keller was a valued and trusted friend, a gifted and compassionate doctor and integral part of the team. She will be dearly missed."

Sam paused as she looked out at the crowd gathered. "This expedition has endured several losses since we came to Pegasus. None of them less substantial than the other. Each of them meaningful in their own right.

However I am proud of each and every one of you. In the face of such great losses, and an ever growing list of enemies you shrug it off and go on. You've held this expedition up to the standard that Elizabeth Weir began with and have exceeded it. The people we have lost would be proud of that.  
Thank you all for coming."

The crowd stood and slowly dispersed. The people gathered in the front row were the last to leave.

Sam was back in her wheelchair with John behind her his hands resting on the handles.

Rodney approached them with Evan close at his heels. "Sam, that was very well said."

"Thanks, Rodney."

Rodney looked at John. "I left a report on your desk, my latest calculations on the evacuation. The quakes are getting stronger and more violent but they're fewer. We do have a window to do this."

"Rodney……"

"Just look at it."McKay urged."We owe it to her to finish that mission and get those people out."

"What if we risk it, get there and they still don't want to leave."John argued. "Did you calculate that in?"

Sam turned her head and looked at Lorne's painting for a brief moment before looking back at Rodney. "He's right, John. We have to at least try once more. Give them the option."

"Alright."John relented as his grip tightened on the handles of the wheelchair. "I still don't like it but if we have a big enough window….."

"We do."Rodney confirmed.

"Might as well get it over with."Sheppard stated as he looked at Lorne. "Major, take Ronon and get SGA4, six and seven. We're going to need at least six jumpers. Get them ready."

"On it."Lorne acknowledged as he turned and left Ronon close behind.

Teyla opened her mouth to say something but John cut her off.

"Teyla, you're not coming on this one."

"John….I am perfectly capable of……"

"Not this time, Teyla, please."John replied his voice tight. "I can't risk it……I can't risk the two of you."

"John….."

John met her gaze. "I need you here…..to take care of Sam. Make sure she follows Sokun's orders."

"Alright."Teyla agreed reluctantly. She did not want to stay behind, but also knew Sam needed her as well.

"Don't even think of counting me out."Rodney stated sharply as Sheppard looked his way.

"Rodney……you may think you're up to speed but you're not."John replied quietly.

"I know, but I need to do this. I failed once……I let her down. I need to see for myself that those people are safe. Besides Radek won't be able to do my calculations. You need me to know how long of a window we have."

John looked down at Sam who nodded.

"Okay. Meet me in the jumper hanger in twenty."

Rodney nodded and quickly left.

John eased the wheelchair over to Teyla who gently gripped the handles.

Sam caught John's right arm as he moved past her.

"You really up for this?"Sam asked worriedly. His face was pinched with pain, grief and weariness.

"Don't have a choice."John replied with a ghost of a smile. "You want a radio link set up in the infirmary?"

"I was going to order it myself so I'd know what was going on."

John nodded. "I'll have a tech report to the infirmary."

"Thanks."

John made it as far as the door when Teyla's soft voice halted him.

"John, be careful."

John turned back to face them. "Always."


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks for all the reviews.

Title: Perturbo  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: Angst, romance, work in progress,  
Summary: Rework of Trio….what if Rodney hadn't been strong enough?

Sam settled back against the pillow of the hospital bed. She was grateful to have had the use of the wheelchair. Despite her protests to Sokun the memorial had wiped her out both physically and emotionally.

Though now thanks to Lt. Doran she and Teyla would be able to see the gateroom as well as hear what was going on with the evacuation.

In the gateroom jumper one sat ready to go. The other seven sat in the hanger bay waiting. Sam knew John had upped the number after reading Rodney's safety window calculations.

The gateroom tech Lieutenant Crisen's voice crackled over the com channel. "Chevron one locked."

In Jumper one John and Rodney sat with SGA-4. Ronon was back with SGA-6 and Lorne was with SGA-5.

Sheppard activated the com link. "Everybody ready?"

Affirmatives quickly came back from all units.

"Everybody knows the game plan."Sheppard stated. "As soon as McKay signals that it's safe we land as close to the village as possible. We talk to the leaders see how many want to go. If nobody wants to go this will be a real short trip."

"Chevron six locked."

John's fingers hovered above the controls, waiting.

"Chevron seven locked. Wormhole stable."

The event horizon bloomed and John punched the controls.

One at a time the eight jumpers moved from the hanger to the gateroom and slid seamlessly into the gate.

* * *

Leana stepped into the room a fresh pitcher of water in one hand and a plate of sweet bread in the other.

As she set both on the nightstand Jennifer stirred and opened her eyes.

"I am sorry I did not mean to wake you."

Jennifer blinked drowsily. "What time is it?"

"Early, not yet daybreak. Rest."

The windows began to rattle and Jennifer sat up in alarm. She warily watched the light fixture swing in the center of the ceiling.

"This will pass."Leana said quietly as she kept one hand on the pitcher to keep it steady.

The iron light fixture broke from the ceiling and crashed hard to the floor just inches from the foot of the bed.

The window shattered and broke sending glass everywhere.

Jennifer looked at Leana. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."Leana replied as she rose to her full height.

"The quakes are getting worse."Jennifer stated worriedly. This one was stronger than any she had experienced in the mine.

The building was still once more and Leana smiled.

"It's safe now, sleep."Leana said as she left.

Jennifer watched her leave knowing they were far from safe. She had to convince them that they had to leave.

Jennifer just wished her body had the energy to do so.

Jennifer's eyes drifted closed and she was once again asleep.

* * *

"Something's affecting the scan….I can't get a clear reading."

"I'll get us past the mine."John commented quietly. "Maybe the quakes are stirring up whatever the Genii was mining."

As they passed over the mineshaft the silence in the jumper was almost overwhelming. John couldn't help but stare down at the huge gaping hole.  
All he could think of were Jen's last moments. How terrified she must've been at the end of that rope.  
The horror she must've felt when she heard the rope snap…..

John shoved the dark thoughts away. As he did he realized they were past the mine shaft and he halted the jumper once more.

"Rodney?"John prompted gently.

Rodney dragged his attention back to the present. "Right, sorry. Starting scans again. Good news we're within our safety window."

"The villagers?"

"They moved to safer ground, so to speak."Rodney replied staring intently at the screen. "They're north of the village."

"North we go."

* * *

As the jumper began moving again Rodney stared unbelievingly at the screen. He looked at the one dot not daring to hope.

It had to be a glitch…..just had to be…..  
There was no way…..absolutely none.

Rodney knew how deep that mine was…..well he didn't know exactly but he had a pretty good guess.  
The odds of her surviving……

Rodney glanced sideways at Sheppard as he ran another scan. There was no way he was getting John's hopes up…..not without more proof.


	25. Chapter 25

I have written this ending, scrapped it, written it, scrapped it and written it once more. So hopefully the final product will hold up to the rest of the fic. Many thanks to Nika Dixon for allowing me to bounce ideas off of her when I hit writers block. Have about four chapters to go, give or take. Also many thanks to those who have taken to this unusual pairing and encouraged me to continue.

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Notes and summary: See part one

From the co-pilot seat of jumper five Lorne couldn't drag his gaze away from the mine as they passed over it.  
The dark abyss seemed to go on forever.  
/God, Jen./

Evan couldn't shake the image of her tiny body tumbling and falling before slamming into the rock below…..

"Major?"Lieutenant Davidson asked with concern. "Colonel Sheppard's trying to raise you."

With a start Evan jerked his attention away from the window. Now he could clearly hear Sheppard's voice over the com.

"Sorry, thank you Lieutenant."Lorne replied sheepishly as he adjusted his earpiece. "Sorry, Colonel, didn't catch that."

"We're landing north of the village…..they've taken shelter in a building there."

"Copy."

* * *

They landed the jumpers in a semi-circle. John had everyone but Rodney,Evan and Ronon stay back with the jumpers.  
There was no need for everyone to descend at once on the villagers.

"How long do we got?"Ronon asked as the group started toward the stone structure.

Rodney squinted as first rays of sunlight began to break through. "Just under an hour."

"Nothin' like cutting it close."

"It's more than we would've had if we tried this two days ago."Rodney replied as he looked once again at his hand held scanner.

The dot was still there.  
Separate from the others.

Rodney still couldn't wrap his mind around it. He'd run a through diagnostic just to be sure. But the diagnostic had come back negative. There was nothing wrong with the equipment.

Rodney knew he should say something to the others. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. If the scan was accurate and Jennifer was by some miracle still alive….she couldn't be in very good shape.

Rodney didn't want to get their hopes up only to have them shattered.

So Rodney remained silent…..hoping he was right, and praying he was wrong.

* * *

Lorne glanced at the rising sun and then back at Sheppard. "So, what, we wake everybody up and say hey your planet's imploding let's go?"

"Sounds good……….."Sheppard began but abruptly cut off as a rumble was felt beneath his feet.

John whirled to glare at McKay. "Rodney!"

"It's not an exact science."Rodney snapped as he fought to keep his footing at the ever increasing tremor.

"So our hour's?"Ronon asked even though he already knew the answer.

"Shot to hell."Sheppard replied grimly as he threw open the door without knocking.

Some villagers were huddled in the main room toward the back. Others were fleeing out the back. Sheppard wasn't sure if the fleeing was because of their arrival or the quake or a combination of the two.

"Lorne, Ronon."Sheppard ordered as they stepped into the room. "Gather everyone that you can. Use the scanners if you have to, make sure we have everybody."

"On it."Evan acknowledged quickly moving toward the back of the building.

"What if they don't want to go?"Dex asked as he walked past Sheppard.

"I think the quake will convince them otherwise."John replied as the floor rolled under his feet.


	26. Chapter 26

Thanks for all the reviews. :) The next chapter will be posted tonight...I promise. If anyone has any John/Jen plotbunnies they'd like to see feel free to send them my way.  
Many thanks to Nika for the beta.

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Notes and summary: See part one

Jennifer wasn't sure what had woken her. Then she had heard Leana's cries for help She had tried to reach the hallway as the tremor intensified. When she'd slowly reached the door she'd discovered something blocked it from the outside.

Jennifer pressed her ear against the wooden door but all she could hear was the rumble of the quake.

"Leana are you alright?"Jennifer called.

Only silence answered her.

Jennifer tugged hard at the door handle once more.

It still wouldn't budge.  
Sharp pain sliced through her ribcage form the movement causing Jennifer to gasp sharply.

Somehow she had to find a way to get to the woman who had saved her.

Just as Jennifer moved back to the center of the room looking for anything to help her she was hit with a harsh wave of dizziness.

Jennifer's hands instantly reached out for something to hold onto as the room continued to spin.  
The pain in her ribcage intensified to the point where she had trouble breathing.

Jennifer closed her eyes fighting to keep conscious…..between the spinning room and the buckling floor……

Jennifer opened her eyes.  
Bad idea.  
Very bad idea.  
Vertigo replaced the dizziness.

Jennifer took a step back toward the bed….maybe if she sat down for a minute it'd pass.

As soon as she moved dark spots swam in front of her eyes and Jennifer crumpled to the floor as darkness closed in.

* * *

Screams from the villagers caught Rodney's attention. A partial section of the back right wall had fallen inward.

Sheppard tapped his earpiece. "Ronon, I'm getting SGA-5 …..we need to get those people out."

"There's a couple people pinned but I got it."Ronon replied through the brief static as he moved to the crumbled wall.

Rodney tilted his head as a sound reached his ears. He couldn't make out what it was. "John, did you hear that?"

Sheppard listened. "Somebody's calling for help….upstairs."

A boy hovered at the foot of the stairs. Rodney recognized him as one of the group that hadn't helped them before.  
Now he looked absolutely terrified.

"My mother….."

"We'll get her."John promised as he motioned for a member of SGA-4 to come closer."Take him outside."

Just as Benzer grabbed the boy a piece of ceiling shuddered and fell inches from them.

"Go!"Sheppard ordered Benzer as he and Rodney took the stairs two at a time.

* * *

John and Rodney reached the top level and discovered a brown haired woman trapped under a large wooden beam. The beam had been part of the ceiling support. Its siblings cris-crossed the main room before snaking into the loft style second floor. The beam was wedged so that it partially blocked the hallway.

The woman looked at them with pleading eyes. "Please…."

"Don't worry."Rodney replied. "We're here to help."

"It's alright."John added. "We'll get you out."

John studied the beam. It was thin across like a two by four on Earth but thickened toward the bottom. The hallway itself wasn't large so if he braced himself against the wall John thought he could lift it enough for Rodney to pull her out.

John moved to the left side of the hall. He lay on his back and scooted underneath the beam. He braced his feet against the front wall of the corridor.

"Rodney."John called as he gripped the wood. "When I lift…..on three…..pull her free."

"Right."Rodney acknowledged as he glanced once more at his scanner before putting it in his pocket.

The dot was there but had moved.  
Rodney didn't know if that was good news or bad.

John gritted his teeth against the splinters that cut into his palms. Silently he counted to five and shoved the beam upward.

It creaked but didn't move.

John bit back a sigh just as his earpiece crackled to life.

"We've got everybody."Lorne reported. "We're splitting them up and assigning them jumpers."

"Good work."John replied. "We've got one more upstairs."

"Better hurry."Evan warned. "Building took quite a hit from that quake. I don't think it'll hold through the aftershocks."

"Noted. Sheppard out."

John looked back at McKay who was kneeling next to the woman's shoulders. "Rodney, same deal. Ready?"

"Do it."McKay replied as he grasped the woman's shoulders.

Leana blinked against the shadows that threatened to claim her.  
She had to tell them that Jennifer was here…..that she couldn't get out on her own.

John shoved the beam once more. This time it moved. John pushed it again, his arms extended fully.

"Got her!"Rodney exclaimed as he pulled the woman to safety.

John dropped the beam but it didn't catch in the same spot it'd been stuck before. John had to move fast to keep it from crushing his right shoulder.

"You okay?"Rodney asked worriedly as Sheppard slid toward them.

"Yeah."John grunted as he moved into a sitting position.

"Your friend….."Leana stated softly looking at Rodney.

McKay shook his head. "Sheppard? He's fine."

"No….."Leana replied as she pointed to a room just beyond the fallen beam. "Your friend…."

Rodney stared at her his throat suddenly dry. "I-It's true?"

John looked from one to the other and back again. His soul went numb…..couldn't be…..

"Rodney we don't exactly have time to sit and chat….mind filling me in?"

Rodney ignored him as he met Leana's gaze. "I picked up her life sign but I couldn't believe that she'd……"

Hope began to weave its way to John's heart. There was only one she that Rodney could be talking about.

Logic was warring against the hope.  
He'd heard Sam and Rodney's first hand reports.  
He'd seen the mine.  
The odds of her surviving that kind of fall…..

Leana smiled. "She is stronger every day…..but she is still weak…..can not walk far on own……"

John stared at McKay. "Rodney when……."John shook his head his mind not wanting to form the words"…. did you pick up Jennifer's……. life sign?"he asked in a choked whisper.

John couldn't believe it…..he just couldn't……had fate really given him a second chance?

Rodney looked sheepish. "When we got past the mine."

John leapt to his feet the numbness on his soul beginning to thaw. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"I thought it was a glitch! I was there, remember?"Rodney yelled back his voice cracking."I know how far she had to have fallen……"

"You should've told me!"John snapped adrenaline pumping through him. "Get her to the jumper."

An aftershock rumbled as Rodney helped Leana to her feet. He slid one of her arms around her shoulders taking most of her weight. He watched as John crawled under the beam toward the door Leana had pointed to earlier.

Rodney turned taking a step toward the stairs when the ceiling creaked ominously."John?"

"I'll be right behind you. Get her out."Sheppard ordered as he reached the door.


	27. Chapter 27

As always the reviews are wonderful :)

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Notes and summary: See part one

Rodney slowly made his way to the group of jumpers. He knew the woman was barely conscious but he had to ask….he had to know.

"Do you…..did she tell……how?"

Leana shook her head wincing at the movement. "The children found her in the woods. She did not tell us much except she wished to go home."

Lorne reached them then and gently gathered the woman up into his arms.

"Watch her legs, Major."Rodney cautioned. "She was pinned."

"Understood."Evan replied as he shifted his grip so the woman's legs were supported better. "Where's Sheppard?"

Rodney turned his worried gaze back to the building. "Turns out there was one more than we thought…..should be right behind me."

Rodney pulled out his scanner and locked on to John and Jennifer's life signs. Rodney swallowed hard his shocked mind still digesting what he'd learned. Rodney knew he should've told Lorne and Ronon brace them for the shock……but then it'd be a shock no matter how they found out.

Rodney looked back at the building hoping that Sheppard's luck was as strong as it'd ever been.

* * *

John rested his hand lightly on the wooden door. He could see the large mark where the beam had rested at one point. John guessed the woman had tried to move it herself or tried to crawl under it and got trapped by the tremor.  
When this was over he'd have to thank her for taking care of Jennifer.

John pushed the door open and felt his heart drop and his breathing hitch.

Jennifer lay crumpled at the side of the bed her arms stretched out in front of her. She was no longer wearing her uniform but a simple short sleeved tan tunic that reached just past her knees.

John blinked.  
When she didn't disappear John forced his legs to move out of the invisible quicksand they'd fallen into.

The room itself was a mess. The window was shattered, shards of glass everywhere. The bent light fixture rested at the foot of the bed at an odd angle.

John dove to his knees next to her ignoring the glass that cut through the fabric of his uniform. With shaking hands John reached for a pulse. A strong one answered under his fingers.

"Thank God."

John half rose to a crouch. He couldn't stop himself from touching her. Jennifer's warm skin was magnetic the feel of it making him believe this was real.  
He wasn't going to question this miracle.

John tenderly brushed hair away from her face hoping his touch would rouse her.  
He needed to see her eyes  
He needed to see her smile.

"Jen?"John called softly as he continued to caress her cheek. "Angel, can you hear me?"

Jennifer stirred at his voice but didn't wake.

John knew they were out of time. He felt the vibration from another aftershock and as carefully as he could scooped Jennifer up into his arms. As he did John first saw the numerous scratches and bruises that covered her limbs. John could only imagine what he couldn't see.

"You're almost home."John whispered into her right ear as he placed a gentle kiss on Jennifer's forehead.

* * *

"Everybody's on board."Lorne stated as he rejoined Rodney.

Ronon stood quietly on McKay's left.

Rodney lowered the scanner he could feel Ronon's curious eyes on him. The Satedan knew something was up.

Rodney keyed his radio. "John, do you have her?"his voice hoarse and barely together.

"Yeah."Sheppard replied tightly. "In the main room almost to you. Get everybody ready to go as soon as we're there."

"Copy."McKay replied his gaze not breaking from the building.  
His eyes searching for the familiar head of blonde hair…..

Evan frowned at McKay picking up on his tension. "Rodney, what is….."

Lorne broke off abruptly as Sheppard emerged from the building a woman clutched tightly in his arms.  
Evan took a step forward and he saw Ronon do the same.  
Lorne shook his head…..he was seeing things….had to be….the woman had a resemblance to Jennifer that was all.  
Wasn't it?

Just as Sheppard reached McKay the second floor collapsed in on the first with a thunderous roar and a cloud of dust.

Rodney smiled and rolled his eyes. "You just have to go for the dramatic, don't you?"

John ignored him as he met Lorne and Ronon's gaze briefly before pushing past them to the entry ramp of jumper one.

"It's true."Rodney confirmed quietly to their stunned expressions before following John onto the jumper.

After a moment Lorne and Ronon quickly moved to their respective jumpers.

Once airborne the jumpers lined up once more and headed back toward the gate.


	28. Chapter 28

Thanks to everyone for welcoming my first attempts at SGA fanfic. I've appreciated each and every one of the reviews. Perturbo is finally complete the final chapters are at my beta should be posted by Tuesday at the latest and I promise the reunion will be worth the wait. :) Cindy

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Notes and summary: See part one

Rodney was back in the co-pilot's seat a still unconscious Jennifer in his arms. One of SGA-4 had given him a blanket at some point and he'd tucked it around her.

The feel of her heartbeat against his chest was the only thing assuring Rodney that she was really there.

Seeing they were closer to the gate Rodney settled back in his seat. Ignoring the dull pain of his own injured ribs Rodney shifted Jennifer so he had a more comfortable grip.

"How's she doin'?"John asked his gaze dividing between the window and Jennifer's still form.

"Same."Rodney replied anxiously. "Though it doesn't feel like she has a fever or anything."

John dialed the DHD. The last chevron locked into place and the wormhole emerged.

Sheppared activated his radio."Sheppard to Carter."

"Go ahead."

"I need the gateroom cleared and Sokun and his team standing by."

"You have injured?"Sam asked with concern.

"A few of the native people."Sheppard replied his voice taught with emotion. "And one of our own."

"How bad?"Sam asked as she and Teyla exchanged an anxious glance.

John's gaze drifted to Jennifer. "Just have Sokun standing by. Sheppard out."

"You're almost home."Rodney whispered to Jennifer as he tightened his grip. "Almost home."

John eased the jumper into the gate seconds later the others followed.

* * *

An hour later Sokun had to threaten to ban everyone except medical personnel from the infirmary.  
It was getting far too crowded.

It seemed like everyone on base had stopped by to see if the rumors were true.  
To see if Jennifer Keller really had returned from the dead.

After several tense minutes of arguing and an order from Sam, Sokun had relented and allowed SGA-1 and Evan to stay.  
Everyone else ordered to stay away for at least twenty-four hours for the sake of the patient.

John sat on the edge of Sam's bed not being able to take his eyes off of Jennifer. She was now occupying the bed Rodney had only days earlier.

Sokun had told them it was a miracle Jennifer was alive at all. Her body had started to show signs of dehydration and lack of nourishment.  
Combine that with the broken ribs, bruised collar bone……..

"How?"Sam asked in a whisper.

Rodney shook his head from his perch at the end of Sam's bed. "She's the only one that knows She didn't tell the villagers much."

"I still can't wrap my head around it."Evan stated softly as he leaned against the wall by Jennifer's bed his gaze locked on her sleeping form.

"Maybe there was another way out of that mine that we didn't see."Sam suggested.

John nodded. "The Genii might have had a backup way out……they're not exactly a self-sacrificing bunch."

"When will she wake?"Ronon asked from his spot by the door.  
He'd always known Jennifer was more of a survivor than she gave herself credit for but this…..

"What she needs most is rest."Teyla commented as she sat in a chair on the other side of Sam's bed

"Sokun said it could be five minutes or it could be days."John replied as he swallowed a sudden lump of tears. "Her body's been through too much."

Teyla stood and shot Rodney a look. "Rodney, will you join me for dinner?"

Rodney shook his head. "Thanks but no….not really hung…."He broke off as he took a good look at Teyla's face. "On second thought I'm starving. Ronon? Evan?"

Ronon smiled as he pushed away from the wall. "I can eat."

Teyla glanced back at Lorne as the group made their way to the door. "Evan, are you joining us?"

Lorne nodded as he moved closer to Jennifer's bed. "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

Evan walked farther up Jennifer's bed. He tenderly placed a hand on her left cheek for a long moment.  
Blinking quickly Evan turned and left the infirmary.


	29. Chapter 29

Tissue alert for the last two chapters!! Good tears but you'll still need that box of Kleenex….Thanks again to all those who have enjoyed this fic and encouraged me to continue. And many thanks to Nika for the beta. Cindy

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Notes and summary: See part one

Hours later John had moved to the chair next to Jennifer's bed. Sam had long since fallen asleep.  
Jennifer had shown no signs of waking and John had been content just to watch.  
Gave him plenty of time to think.

John shifted to stretch his legs out under the bed. He knew Jennifer was going to have a long recovery. Not just for the physical injuries….but her time alone in the mine had to have taken a toll on her.

John leaned forward and laced his fingers with hers being careful of the bandages on her palms. He'd be there every step of the way if she'd have him.  
Part of him was afraid she'd be furious at him for giving up on her.

John rested his chin on their entwined hands. He couldn't blame her if she was mad. John had played hundreds of scenarios over in his head of what she'd gone through in that mine trying to escape……being terrified she was going to die alone in the dark.

"I swear to you, Jen."John began but his voice trembled and failed forcing him to swallow and try again. "If I'd had any idea….any at all…..I would've found a way to get you out……"

Jennifer stirred and John stood leaning forward his hand still linked with hers."Jen?"

Slowly Jennifer opened her eyes. She closed them quickly against the onslaught of pain that accompanied it.

John saw the pain on her face and began to move away. "I'll get Sokun…hang in there."

Jennifer caught his hand. "No….not yet. I'm okay."She opened her eyes cautiously. "A-am I really home?"

John retook his seat lacing their hands once more. "Yes, angel."his voice caught. "You are."

Jennifer reached over with her free hand and touched John's face her tears flowing freely.

"It's alright,"John soothed. "You're safe….you're home….just rest…..I'll be right here."

Jennifer tried to fight to keep her eyes open. It was so good to see him……there were times in the  
dark when she thought she never would.

John tenderly brushed a hand against her face. "You're home, Jen. Rest…."

Jennifer blinked drowsily…..there was so much she wanted to know. She wanted to know about Sam and Rodney…..about the villagers.

Jennifer felt her eyes close. Her body was just too weak to obey what her mind wanted.  
As exhaustion over took Jennifer her last thoughts were of John and home and how nice those two words sounded together.

* * *

Early the next morning Evan stepped into the infirmary. He had a dial out scheduled in less than twenty minutes but he had to stop by.  
He had to make sure she was still there.

Lorne stepped into the area where Sam and Jennifer were. Sam was asleep so was Jennifer.  
Sheppard lay slumped in a very uncomfortable position in a chair near her bed, fast asleep.

Evan quietly stepped around Sheppard and placed the small vase on the bedside table. He'd managed to find some flowers in the latest crop brought from the mainland.  
They were similar to daisies back on Earth.

Evan adjusted the flowers making sure they were all standing before he turned and walked quietly back around Sheppard and headed toward the door.

Jennifer's hoarse voice halted him halfway. "Thank you, Evan. They're beautiful."

Evan smiled as he met her gaze feeling a familiar lump of tears begin to form in his throat. He still couldn't believe that he had her back.

"You're welcome, Jen. Welcome home."

Jen nodded drowsily before drifting back off to sleep.

Evan watched her for a long moment before turning and heading for the gateroom.

* * *

By the next evening Jennifer was feeling almost human. She knew it was mostly the pain medications working overtime.  
But she'd take what she could get.

Jennifer was in the room by herself. Sam had been released earlier that afternoon with strict orders to use the crutches and no offworld activity.  
Jennifer had also managed to convince John to take a break and grab something to eat.  
He hadn't wanted too, but Jennifer could see he needed it.  
With a promise to be back in an hour John had reluctantly left leaving Jennifer alone for the first time since she'd returned home.

Jennifer looked around her infirmary with a smile. It was so good to be back John had filled her in on how Rodney had gotten Sam out and that the villagers were safe and waiting to be relocated once they found a new planet. It warmed her heart to know everyone was safe.

Jennifer reached for the small glass of water on the nearby table and brought it back to take a sip. As she did she caught sight of Rodney standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Rodney, why are you standing there? Come."Jennifer said as she set the water down.

Rodney shifted from one foot to the other still not quite meeting her gaze. "I-I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me."

Jennifer extended her hand toward him. "Don't be silly…..why wouldn't I?"

Relief washed over Rodney's face as he grasped her hand briefly before sitting down."You trusted me to pull you up….and I…..I'm so sorry."

"Rodney McKay you have nothing to be sorry for."Jennifer stated sternly."The rope snapped….I felt it….."

Rodney winced and ducked his head as the memories flooded back.

"Rodney,"Jennifer began and waited until he finally looked at her. "You're a hero, don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise. Sam's alive because of you and I'm home because you wouldn't give up on rescuing those people."

"I don't feel like much of one."Rodney whispered.

"You are…."Jennifer replied as she opened her arms and motioned for him to stand so she could hug him. "I thought I'd lost you for a moment there…..don't do that again, okay?"

Rodney smiled as he hugged her as tight as he dared. "Goes both ways."

Both were silent for several minutes before Rodney broke away afraid of upsetting her injuries.

"Well I'm going to go and let you get some rest……"Rodney stated as he turned from the bed and moved toward the door.

"Rodney?"Jennifer called as she settled back against the pillows.

McKay turned back. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Rodney nodded. "I'm just glad you're okay."he said quietly before turning and leaving the infirmary.


	30. Chapter 30

Remember, tissue alert!!

Title: Perturbo (Latin for trouble)  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Notes and summary: See part one

Epilog

Two days later Jennifer released herself to her own care. Sokun had frowned and argued but he'd been outranked.  
Being CMO had a few privileges.  
If she was going to be stuck on a week's bedrest because of the broken ribs she'd much rather it be her own bed.

It was early afternoon as John pushed her wheelchair down the familiar hallway to her quarters.  
She was feeling stronger but still had boughts of weakness which left her extremely tired.

Once at her quarters Jennifer reached up to wave her hand over the access panel.

John pushed her the rest of the way inside. "Welcome home, angel."

"Oh John….."Jennifer began tearfully as she looked at the room. "You didn't have too, they're beautiful."

Sitting on one of the nightstands was a large glass vase full of flowers. All different kinds….colors ranged from red to yellow to a light pink.

John moved to the side of the wheelchair and gently picked her up and carried her the rest of the way to the bed.

"Just because Evan beat me to it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about it."John stated with a grin.

Jennifer kissed him as he eased her down onto the bed.

"Thank you."Jennifer whispered when they finally broke apart.

John lightly feathered her cheek as he sat next to her. "You might as well get used to it because I'm buying you flowers every day."

"John….."Jennifer began but broke off. The intense turmoil of emotions in his eyes nearly took her breath away.

"I'm so grateful, angel…..to have you back….."John stated tenderly his voice catching.

Wordlessly Jennifer gingerly scooted over. She took his hand and pulled him down next to her.

John wrapped his arms as tightly around her as he could, pulling her close.

Jennifer snuggled against him resting her head on his chest content to lay there and listen to his heartbeat.

"I've never been good at talking about feelings and stuff."John began softly. "Part of the reason my marriage failed I think. She knew I had baggage and was frustrated that I wouldn't deal with it.

I've never been one to believe in fate, fairytales and happy endings. I've seen too much of the bad….lived through too much of the bad to know fate only had an ugly side.

Then you entered my life and showed me that there could be light in the darkness. You found a way to my heart letting me know that it was possible to love somebody completely and without question."

Tears began to flow once more as Jennifer turned slightly to meet his gaze

"When we finally got to Sam and Rodney and she told me you'd fallen….."John broke off and closed his eyes. "It was like I had shut down……in my head I knew we'd only been together a short time but my heart was reacting like it'd been a lifetime."

John opened his eyes and reached down gently brushing away her tears. "I don't know how I was fortunate enough to earn a second chance but I'll gladly take it. I saw what my life could be like without you and it's something I don't want to ever endure again."

"I love you, Jen."John stated huskily. "As long as you'll have me you're stuck with me."

Jennifer smiled overwhelmed by his words, and her own emotions which were swirling like mad. Trapped in that mine she swore that if she ever got back home she'd tell John how much he meant to her. Right now though only one thing was coming to mind.

"John, nobody has ever loved me the way you do."Jennifer's voice caught and she began again. "It scared me at first not knowing if I could trust it…..afraid it and you would go away when you found something better. But you surprised me, you stayed and I learned to trust this thing between us…..it gave me faith and strength when I needed it most…..you're stuck with me too."

John's lips captured hers in a kiss full of passion and hope for the future.

They came up for air and Jennifer settled back against his chest.

John reached over and picked up a blanket from the foot of the bed and draped it over them. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Get some sleep, angel."

"I love you, John."Jennifer stated quietly just as she drifted off to sleep.

end


End file.
